Binkies - When do you take them away?

I've never had to deal with this issue before. J never took a binky...that is until he saw N sucking like mad on one. Then we'd find him trying to sneak the binkies from N, usually when J was having a bad or extremely emotional day. He knows he doesn't need one.

But N is most definitely a BINKY BABY! And it's not just any binky that he wants. It's this one:


My sister got him one of these babies. It's called a Wubbanub. They have several other kinds of them with various colors of binkies attached.

N cannot live without this monkey binky. An example of this happened just today. He was crying and acting hungry, so I tried to nurse him. He latched on for a second, then started wailing at maximum volume. I put in his binky and let him hug the monkey and he quieted right down and fell asleep. I'm being passed up for a monkey!

Anyway, because he's so attached to this monkey binky, I'm a little worried about what will happen when we "get" to take it away and be done with the whole binky thing.

When do you usually take away a binky? (I've heard of some experts who say to take it away at 6 months or so, so they don't have cognitive memories of having it.) How have you done it so you have success (and little whining/crying/fighting)?

Breastfeeding Whatnots and Wherefores

Most people (at least most that I know) aren't all that comfortable talking about their boobs, so it comes as no surprise that people don't like talking about what comes out of their boobs either. I'm going to be fairly candid in this post. Please don't take offense or anything like that. I'm just sharing what would have been nice to know before some of this happened.

When I had J (almost 3 years ago now) I had no idea what to do to get the little guy to breastfeed. I mean, I'd seen my sisters with their numerous kids feeding their babies and had even talked with them (much more than I was comfortable with) about stuff that happens to your boobs. But until you go through the process for yourself and your baby, it's still something akin to rocket science.

I managed to keep the little guy alive, thank goodness, and to feel fairly comfortable with my breastfeeding abilities. He was a great nurser and just loved to eat.

N, on the other hand, likes to - shall we say - "play" with his food. He is so very observant of the world around him, and likes to look EVERYWHERE. He also hates to stop eating or let go as he does so. Who knew a boob could stretch in so many different ways? Not me! I know, I know. Cover him with a nursing corner/blanket and sit in a dark quiet room. But that's not always readily available when you have multiple children.

Another thing I've learned this time around (here's another candid moment) is that ducts get clogged and that stuff builds up in the nipple at times. I had clogged ducts with J, and so I knew basically how to ease the pain and help them unclog. Hot showers and the like. But I'd never, NEVER seen or heard of stuff building up in the nipple.

Things got so painful that it would feel like knives stabbing me whenever N would eat off that side, tears streaking down my face and all that good stuff. I finally had enough of it and squeezed (yes it was extremely painful) until I got the stuff out. Then, as per one of my sisters' advice, I let N latch on to that side with his tongue on the side of the nipple where the stuff had been. Apparently the suction is greater on the tongue side of a baby's mouth.

I share this, not so you'll gross out, but so that if you ever experience something like that, you'll know you're not a freak (I'm assuming that I'm not one) and that you'll know that there is a remedy for it, painful though it may be.

I'm sure there are other "gems" of info on the subject that could be shared, but that's all I'll put you through at the moment.

Help needed for Bath Time Woes

I recieved this plea for help quite a while ago, but I did not get it until recently. My deepest apologies Annie!

Here is her dilemma:

I have a 2 year old who loves taking baths...up until we wash her hair! We have tried every trick in the book to make this easier: having her lay back with her head tilited back, having a cloth over her eyes, she refuses to close her eyes! It is a battle to the death (almost) each time She SCREAMS super loud, yelling things like "STOP! IT HURTS!" I'm expecting the neighbors to call CPS any second. We try and sooth her, tell her it's just water! We wipe her eyes constantly, we use tear free shampoo...give her rewards...

As her mom and the main bather to her I'm pretty much at wits end with the SCREECHING and death cries! Do any of you moms have some advice on how to make hair washing less painful for both of us?!

Thanks
Annie

Your Average Day

I've been thinking about the last post for almost the last month. With a new baby in the house, a lot of things have changed - especially my schedule (note that it's almost 1 a.m. as I'm writing this).

Not only has my schedule been thrown off kilter, but so has my toddler's. Before N was born, we had a fairly good routine down for dinner and bedtime. Now, he does everything he can to stay up longer and longer and longer. I'd like to ask another question of all you moms out there because you are full of great advice that you definitely can't get in parenting books because your experiences are your own and most of you haven't published...at least not that type of book. (Wink at Deborah, since she's having her book published later this month!)

My question is what is your schedule like on an average day? I'm trying to fit everything back into my life that fit before, and it's like I'm doing a puzzle with too many pieces. I know it'll take time for me to see how everything can fit, or at least pare it down, but I'd really like to know how you other moms do things.

So, what does your average day look like?

Calming Reflex

We've all seen doctors checking knee reflexes, right? In order to do it correctly, they have to find just the right spot on your knee to tap with that little mallet they use before your leg will kick involuntarily because it's a reflex.

Did you know that babies have a calming reflex? I didn't until I took some of our readers' advice and read a book called "The Happiest Baby on the Block". Can I just say that this book has been a life saver for me? Let me tell you about this calming reflex that Dr. Karp has written his book about. AMAZING!

He says that after babies are born, they miss the comforting feelings they had while in the womb. He's found a few things that help to recreate that feeling. Each of these things triggers your baby's calming reflex as he's called it. And, if done in the correct order, these things will almost instantly calm your baby down. Seriously, it happens within a minute or two at most.

What are these things that trigger this awesome reflex? Dr. Karp calls them the 5 S's. Here they come:

1. Tight Swaddling: You need to make sure that baby's arms are wrapped tightly to his/her sides. Babies didn't have much room inside the womb, and they're not used to having all this space around them. It's scary being in a new place, right? (To see how Dr. Karp suggests you swaddle your baby, check out the book or his dvd at your local library)
   
2. After swaddling, turn baby onto his/her Side/Stomach as you hold him/her. I've seen babies that consider leaning even a fraction of an inch to their back a "very bad thing" and remain inconsolable. But when tilted toward their stomach, they calm right down. Why? I'm not sure, but it seems to work, so I go with what Dr. Karp says on this one.
3. Swinging comes next. They don't call them "Bouncing Babies" for nothing. You can either bounce your baby from side to side or do what I do. I sit down and put my baby on my legs (head by my knees) and rock my knees back and forth. It takes minimal effort and can be done even when you're bleary eyed at 2 a.m.
   
4. If swaddling, side/stomach and swinging aren't enough to calm your baby, try giving them something to Suck on. Sucking naturally calms a baby, and when combined with the first three S's, it REALLY calms them down.
5. The final S is Shushing. Dr. Karp says to shush as loud as the baby is crying. In his book he says that babies are used to a constant white noise that is at about the same level in volume as a vacuum cleaner. Other ways to provide this white noise could include turning a radio to static, or getting a hair dryer, turning it on the low setting and leaving it about 3-6 feet from baby. Or, you can always turn on a vacuum in the same room as baby. All of these can help with making your baby feel "at home" again.

Some babies only need one or two of these S's, and some need them all. Some, when they're really upset, need them all in a very big way. My newest baby, N, is one of those babies. I'm glad to say that once I figured out how to trigger his calming reflex, we were so much happier together. :) I can even get more sleep at night. Instead of an hour at a time at most, I'm now getting 2-4 hours at a time. YAY!

I've also found that N gets overstimulated fairly quickly. If I pay close enough attention, I can catch it before he gets to his "inconsolable" stage where he needs all 5 S's. If I do catch it, just swaddling and sucking (sometimes swaying) are all he needs.

Good luck to all you new mommies out there! Hope this helps you as much as it has helped me!

Colicky Babies

Disclaimer: Sorry if this post seems a little jumbled. My head is that way for reasons explained in the post. :)

It seems a little crazy to me that something so cute and sweet as this:
could make you experience so many conflicting emotions. Joy, love, and awe are accompanied by frustration and sometimes depression.

Baby N has been here for a month now. I can't believe that it's already been a month, but on the other hand, I can't believe it's only been a month. It seems like he's been with our family for much, much longer. In that "postpartum" month, I've experienced all of the emotions listed above among several others. I've probably cried more in desperation with Baby N than I did for J when I had him. Why? Because Baby N has colic. 'Nuff said.

Ok, maybe not 'nuff said. He started out like pretty much any other cute little newborn baby. About 2 weeks after his birth, he started getting MUCH more fussy. Kids tend to do that anyway. But this wasn't the "normal" fussy. This didn't end with the soothing mommy or daddy gave. It kept going on and on.

Along with the fussiness, you could hear, actually hear BIG gas bubbles rumbling around in his poor little tummy, but no amount of us trying to burp him helped. Not even Mylecon (or however you spell that) drops worked very well for him. I know there's a direct correlation between the food you eat and how gassy you and your baby are (if you're nursing) and I try to avoid gassy foods at all costs.

As you would rightfully assume, having a very gassy/colicky baby leads to little or no sleep for mommy and daddy. That's what we've had here for about 2 and a half weeks. We've gone to the doctor and she suggested that since I was lactose intolerant during pregnancy (not before...just during) that he might be not only lactose intolerant, but dairy intolerant. She suggested taking dairy out of my diet entirely for 3-5 days, then to slowly introduce it back in. She said to start with yogurt first as it's the mildest form of dairy.

I also heard that there are pediatric chiropractors out there who have colic treatments/adjustments. Who knew?! I did a Google search to find one in my area and took Baby N to see her.

We've been off dairy for a week. I decided to give it 7 days instead of just 3-5. And we've also had 3 visits to the chiropractor. The adjustments have helped a bit. I haven't noticed much difference in fussiness with yogurt being introduced back into my diet.

So now, I have a couple questions for you:

1. What are some other things you know of that help with colicky, gassy babies?
2. What's the difference between postpartum depression and baby blues? (As you might imagine, with little to no sleep, I'm getting to be a little down. I know there's a direct relation to the amount of sleep I get and how down I feel. I'd still like to know what you think is the difference between the two, if there's any difference at all.)
   

When my baby is sick...

Yay, the holidays are here. Snow is on it's way. Soon we'll all be joining hands around a giant Christmas tree singing,

Fah who For-aze
Dah who dor-aze
Welcome Christmas
Come this way!

Oh, wait, I guess that's the Who's in Whoville. Anyway.

Let's face it folks, it's flu season. And cold season. And pneumonia season. And RSV season. And G.I. virus season. And (insert illness here) season. So many of my friends, family, and fellow mothers are home sick with their little ones.

One of our mommies asked for advice on what we like to do when our babies are sick, but I think so many of us were home sick with our babies that we didn't have time to respond.

I've been thinking about it, and here are just a few areas I have some ideas. More are appreciated.

COUGH/COLD

When I had my first child (and by "had" I mean adopted), I was pretty sure I had this mothering thing down. I knew why my baby was crying and how to fix it. I knew much to feed him. I knew that he needed his nose suctioned every morning and his fingernails clipped every three days. I knew that he sneezed a lot in the sunlight, and that he didn't love his swing. Yet. I knew how many times he pooped a day and how many ounces of formula he guzzled.

But when he got a cough at 4 months old, I felt like I needed to call this kid's mommy and have her pick him up. And then I remembered, "Oh wait. I am the mommy." I didn't really know what to do. My son didn't have a fever, but he had terrible green mucus and a cough that didn't sound wet, just uncomfortable.

I didn't want to call the doctor's office every ten minutes, so I watched S for a day and made sure I had all his symptoms. Then I called. I talked to the nurse and she told me a few good tips.

With babies that young, they can't have medicine. She told me to ease his discomfort and coughing, I could give him an ounce for every month old he was of warm apple juice. So, since he was 4 months old, he could have up to 4 oz of warm apple juice per day. (I actually watered it down, but I think it worked just the same.)

Also, I got baby Vick's vapor rub and rubbed it on his chest and feet. Yes, the soles of his feet. You may think it's silly, but it really does work. And besides, it's homeopathic, so why not give it a try? It also eases their discomfort from coughing and helps them sleep better. I loved that stuff and grew to associate it's smell with the smell of my baby. It says it's safe for babies 6 months and older, but the doc said I could use it on S.

You can use a humidifier to help baby breath at night. Get friendly with your child's nasal aspirator and keep one in every room of your house. If your child is older, sometimes propping them up helps them sleep better at night. Our son was always propped because the nurses at the hospital told us it would help with his acid reflux. However, you still have to be very careful with newborns and extra blankets or pillows. SIDS is always a risk.

Also, there is this cool thing called saline mist that you can spray into your baby's nose. It helps with breathing, and I found it also loosened up the dry gunk and made it easier for me to suction out.

RSV

A few months later, my son's cold returned, but this time it was different. His eyes were watery, as seen in the picture below.

His nose was constantly running, and his cough was wet. He was tired all the time and not really playful. Still happy, just lethargic. I called my sister-in-law that day to ask her about her son who was a year old and had just been diagnosed with RSV.

"I think that's what S has," I told her. The next day I took my son in to the doctor. He checked him out, listened to his lungs and his cough. Sure enough, my little guy had RSV. My sister-in-law said she had never seen a mother so in tune to her baby. That made me feel pretty good, but I told her it wasn't because I'm special, it was because I'd kept S indoors for the first 3 months of his life trying to avoid getting RSV.

There was a few things more we could do for him than with a common cold. We bought a nebulizer and gave him prescription breathing treatments every few hours.

It wasn't exactly fun or comfortable, but we did what we had to. We also made sure my husband and I did not spread the virus. S stayed home so as not to share the wealth. We washed our hands and clothes regularly, and we made sure S was as comfortable and happy as possible.

Why am I going through the trouble of this rather lengthy and possibly not all that interesting post?

Because. The only reason I knew to look for the symptoms of RSV were because someone had told me about them. RSV itself is not fatal, but it can weaken the immune system, making way for things like pneumonia, which can be fatal. So just be careful.

I also wish that I had been given some ideas on what to do when my baby is really sick. Now you know for a cough you can use apple juice and Vick's to the soles. Also, make sure your baby/child is hydrated. They may not feel like eating, but they've got to drink.

STOMACH FLU/ILLNESS

Our mommy Nicole just posted on her personal blog that her son J is having GI problems. He's been puking and...other fun activities, so his pediatrician recommended he eat bananas and yogurt. I don't know anything about this topic, so ideas are welcome.

RASH

A few weeks ago my son got a mystery rash. It was so strange and bizarre and I hated it. I was frightened. I called my mother, who didn't answer. I called my neighbor who is an ER nurse, and she wasn't home. I called my brother-in-law who is a Pharmacist. He asked me all the questions I expected. Did he have a fever? Was he introduced to any new foods? Did we recently change his laundry detergent? Was he itchy and scratching? Did he have any other symptoms?

The answer to all of these questions was no. My brother-in-law's advice to me was not to treat the symptom if it wasn't there. Benedryl would have been my first go-to drug, but I didn't have any. However, S wasn't itchy. He wasn't scratching. He wasn't miserable. The only reason I even knew he had a rash was because I happened to see it while changing his diaper.

So I watched him like a hawk, afraid that if I even picked him up I might irritate his rash. After a day, it went away. I never used Benedryl. Would S have died if I did? No. But I knew that it would have been for my own peace of mind instead of the well being of my child.

That being said, if I had said yes to any of those questions, I may have, honestly, taken S right to the doctor or the ER. I'm not even kidding. Especially with the food allergy. If he had been cranky or scratching, I would have pumped him so full of Benedryl that rash wouldn't have known what was coming!

Bottom line: rashes are scary. Don't freak out. Ask yourself a bunch of questions, watch your baby and his/her behavior, and then react.

You are the mom. You know best.

TEETHING

My son is now old enough to be getting some molars. Yippee. We took him to the dentist two weeks ago, and he actually recommended using a frozen Gogurt to help with teething pains. It's cold, it's edible. It's small enough for him to fit in the back of his mouth.

It was brilliant. I tried it on S and it was great. Messy, but great.

When it comes to cutting teeth, I don't skimp on the pain meds if my child is in need. If he's awake and happy and playing, I don't bother because he's plenty distracted. But when he starts to tug on his ears and hit his face or head, I break out the Tylenol. Or if he's going to bed. I don't want him sleeping terribly because he's in pain all night.
A bib also helps with the little ones. That way their shirts aren't covered in drool. :)

I noticed that my son's chin gets red and irritated when he is teething because the drool drips down his chin and just kind of hangs out there. I try to keep a rag around to dab off the drool and keep his chin from chapping.

FEVER

This section will be relatively blank. You see, my son does not get a fever. Hardly ever. Even when he had RSV he had a very low grade fever. Does that mean he doesn't get sick? No. In fact, he just expresses it in different ways. For example. About a week before the rash incident, all of a sudden my baby had really red cheeks. They stayed red for hours. He seemed a little down, a little more tired. No cough,  not really a runny nose. But I knew that this was his body's way of telling me he was sick. I gave him Tylenol, lots of liquids, lots of rest, etc. After a few hours he felt better.

What I know of fevers is that it's usually not the fever that is the problem (unless it's really high, and then you've got a serious problem!). The fever is just a symptom of something else going on. It could be a simple bug going around or even teething. Or it could be something bigger. You know your child, so don't be afraid to call your pediatrician and tell him your child's symptoms if you are really concerned.

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So, as you can see, in my limited experience, I have found a lot of things help for me. I'll ask you to share what helps you take care of your little guy or girl when they are under the weather, and if you aren't too busy mopping up puke or dosing out cough medicine, I'd love to hear.

One last thing. Mother's instinct is sometimes confused with panicking, but it's like I said before. YOU know your child, and if the doctor/nurse/etc won't listen to you, and you are sure there is something very wrong with your baby, you leave and find a doctor who is willing to listen to you and not brush aside your God given talent of mothering.

Sick with the Flu

Being sick is never fun. Having sick kids is almost worse because not only does it tug at your heart strings, but if they're young, there's not much you can give them (medicine wise) to comfort them and help with their symptoms.

This last weekend, we had a little boy who was sick with the flu. He threw up BIG time three times during the day. Each one was on me. He'd come up and want to be held and then just toss his cookies all over the place. That night he kept throwing up every few hours, but it would mostly be Sprite and crackers that we had given him. I just felt so helpless, but I knew it was only the flu and that it wasn't really terribly bad. It just seemed worse because he was barfing on me.

What are some things that you moms out there do for your kids when they're not feeling their best?

Feeling Overlooked

My husband and I are both middle children. We've both had to do our fair share of vying for parental (and sometimes sibling) attention. There have been times when we've felt a little overlooked, which can sometimes be the case in a family with so many children.

BUT, vying for attention is not something I want my kids to ever feel like they have to do. And, I don't ever want them to feel neglected or unloved or like we're playing favorites.

How do you moms of multiple children ensure that all of your children feel loved and like you're paying attention to them? I've been wondering about this a lot lately, because it will soon (within the next month and a half) be more of a worry for me. I'm due to have our second son in about 49-ish days. When our little guy shows up, I want our older son to still feel as loved as he has been. I don't want him to feel excluded, overlooked or ignored.

So, if you would, please share things that you have done that help with this situation.

Constipation Anyone?

If your kids are anything like mine, then their internal plumbing systems will stop working quite as well once they start solids.  I don't know what it is, but my babies just plug right up once solids are introduced.  It doesn't matter how much they drink, or how diluted their cereal is, they seem to have a really tough time with filling their diapers up.  I have learned a few different things to try when your little one is spending a lot of time grunting without much to show for it.

1.  Prunes and Prune Juice:  Doctors will usually recommend this first.  They claim that it softens things up and gets them flowing again.  I have never had much luck with them myself, but old people eat/drink them for the same reason, so there must be some truth to it.

2.  Blueberries:  I haven't had to use blueberries specifically for this purpose, but my kids love them.  I have been told that they work like a charm when it comes to cleaning out those little baby pipes.

3.  Yogurt:  I tried almost everything you can imagine with my first child and she continued to remain clogged up almost constantly until she was introduced to yogurt.  Once she was old enough, I started to feed her yogurt every single day and she has not had a bowel problem since.

4.  CARROTS:  Yes, those beloved little orange bits of deliciousness that most children will gobble up quite willingly are filled with fiber.  Especially if your baby is not old enough to eat yogurt yet, then carrots are a good option.  If my little one has gone for several days without stinking up the house, then I will feed her a big helping of carrots.  Without fail, she will have a major blowout by the next morning.  Sometimes they work a little too well and the mess is uncontainable.  But that is information for another post ;)

5.  Suppository:  If nothing else works, you may be in need of a suppository.  However, I would suggest trying the other options first.  Suppositories are very effective, usually working within 15 minutes or so, but they are uncomfortable for your child and are not a long term fix. 

How to protect your crib!

You read that right, it's how to protect your crib, not your child. My parenting book never told me just what a kid could do to your precious, $200 crib once they learned how to pull themselves up.

This is what happened to my crib:

Thank heavens it wasn't lead paint, right? Still I was devastated. So now I had to find some way to cover the horrible bite marks. I looked online and crib rail covers were like $20 or more! I thought, "there's no way I'm paying that much." (I'm a frugal/cheap-skate!)

So I decided to make some. I picked out the fabric, made my own pattern from looking at the ones online, and sewed them for at least half the money. Now I'm not embarrassed for people to see Kaleb's crib and I don't have to worry about any more biting (although he's long over that now).



Moral of the story: if you don't have something like this yet on your crib, buy/make them before it's too late!