Nursing vs. Formula

My son is adopted. He will grow up knowing that, it's just a part of who he is. Some adoptive mothers are able to breastfeed. My husband and I discussed it and decided against it. There were some pros to trying, but in the end we'd still have to supplement with formula so why not remove one source of possible stress?

If you've ever read a parenting magazine or seen an advertisement for formula, you have seen or heard that nursing is the best thing for the baby.

Can I tell you every time I hear that I get so angry I wish there was a spider nearby so I could kill it?! I just want to yell at the magazine, "My son is adopted! I didn't have a choice!" But I guess I did have a choice, so I have this overwhelming sense of guilt in trying to justify why we didn't nurse our son.

Ugh.

The truth is, a lot of women can't or chose not to nurse for many reasons. It's too painful, the baby is unable to latch on for different reasons, I can't nurse because I work, etc. Does that make them bad mothers?

Heck. No.

If my son were my biological child, we would have nursed him - or at least tried. End of story. But it just so happened that life took turns that we didn't expect and we formula fed our baby. Am I a bad mother? See previous answer. And I seriously doubt his teachers are going to write on his report card, "You formula fed, didn't you?"

So what is the point of this post? Just to spread a little bit of awareness.

If you are one of the many women who can't or doesn't breast feed her child, don't you dare feel guilty. Formula, especially nowadays, is jam packed with nutrients, vitamins and minerals essential to a child's health and well being. They even promote proper eye, brain and heart growth for goodness sake! Babies digest formula slower, which means they are fuller longer (yay for sleeping through the night!!). And even dad can get in on the bonding action. You'll fork over money for bottles and spend more time at the sink. And, unfortunately, you pay a premium for your baby's health. Never, ever, ever be afraid to ask for formula from your pediatricians office. My doc told me that sometimes the formula samples (which they get for free, by the way) expire before they can give it to patients, so they have to throw it away! So pipe up and don't be afraid to ask. In my experience, they're generous, so bring a plastic sack with you to your appointment. Just in case.

If you are one of the many women who can nurse with no problems or hesitations, congratulations! You just saved hundreds of dollars on formula and bottles, plus countless hours washing, drying, and putting away bottles (and I say that with not even a hint of sarcasm. I really, really mean it!). Not to mention having to cart bottles on vacations and pack formula, a bottle brush and soap. You also have that time and ability to bond with your baby in a very intimate sense. Your child is getting your antibodies and is hopefully building a healthy immune system all thanks to mom. Don't forget that breast fed babies need an extra boost of Vitamin D. 

All moms are different. All babies are different. We don't judge each other because that just makes our job a million times harder.