Potty Training

This can be one of the most rewarding and exciting things you'll do with your child...at least up until this point in life. :) It can also be one of the most frustrating and disgusting jobs you'll ever do.

We've been potty training J for awhile now. We started in late September in the hopes that we'd have things mostly mastered by Christmas time which is when N will make his appearance. (There's just something about having only 1 child in diapers that is very appealing to me.)

Like every child that goes through this process, J has had his very good days and his very bad days. Today, for instance, he woke up dry. He said he didn't need to potty yet, and wanted to eat first. Lately he's been pretty in tune with those things, so I sat him down and let him eat his breakfast. He finished and got down to play. I had left him in his night time diaper just to make sure I wouldn't be cleaning up a morning woopsie.

As he was playing, he jumped right up and yelled, "Mommy! Potty toilet!!!" and then ran for all he was worth into the bathroom. My mommy heart swelled with pride. :) I was so happy that he's finally getting it!

He went back to playing and after a little while, he repeated the process, except this time his words were slightly different. Instead of a potty run, we were making a poop run. YAY again! But no matter how hard he'd try, he just couldn't (or wouldn't) make it come out.

Again, that was ok. At least he's trying to listen to his body now. We went through this at least 5 times in about 10 minutes, each time with no results. Then, his warning got a little more urgent and finally we had success. He told me he didn't want to wear a diaper, but he wanted to wear big boy underwear. Fine. (Keep in mind we're recovering from a GI virus.)

He went back to playing and then almost cried when he said, "Poop toilet!" as he had stuff running down his legs. I probably could have (and should have) been smarter about that, but I also wanted to encourage him to feel like he's doing something awesome and important. I want him to feel like he IS a big boy.

I know a family (and I'm not going to name any names) that went through the potty training of their 2nd boy as if it were boot camp. They'd make their little one sit on the toilet until he went...come crying or constipation...or both. Granted, he did have some major issues with constipation and it was hard to get him to go, but one parent would even resort to yelling to try to entice the poor little guy to go. It didn't help much as you might imagine.

Because of having seen that, and because my little guy has such a sensitive spirit, I knew I couldn't ever go about things that way for our family. What we've chosen to do instead is more like bribery. :) I'm not ashamed to admit it or even do it that way.

Every time J goes potty, he gets a piece of candy (Halloween candy worked wonders in this department as we would hardly give him any candy unless he went potty). Going poop was a totally different ball game. Candy didn't really work for him in that department. But giving him really cheap toy cars did/does. Every time he goes poop, he gets a new car. He LOVES his cars and lately has found a new way to get more of them.

We started out with setting the timer for 40 minutes or so and when the timer would go off, we'd go sit on the potty. It got to be kind of humorous for awhile because any time any dinger or buzzer would go off, J would jump up and yell, "Potty!" and run to the bathroom. Now he's starting to tell us when he has to go.

This is a way that has worked for us. It might not work for every parent or child and that's ok. There are several ways to go about potty training. It was suggested to us to let J wear the underwear underneath his diaper so he felt the wet a little more. That didn't work, but did make for a lot more laundry.

Though I'm no expert in this area by any means, my suggestion is to find a way that works best for your family (and especially for your child) and go with that. Be consistent and understanding. It is training after all and will take some time. :)

I'm looking forward to the time when we're only in diapers at night. And then to the time when we're completely out of diapers. That will be nice. :) And I'm sure those times are right around the corner.

Good cop vs. Bad cop

No matter how badly I wish I was "Good cop", I'm just not. I spend all of my time with 2 little boys, J is 3 and B is 7 months.

Recently I have been given the actual title of "Bad Cop" with my disciplines on the boys.

For example...during conference little J wanted to play his Mickey Mouse on the computer. I told him that "No, we are watching conference, this is church today." He ran to Mr. A for help and this is what I heard "Sorry dude, mom said no, she wants to watch conference". Bad Cop title inserted here.

Example number 2: Mom is watching "The Biggest Loser" (a fave for me), and little J wants to  play his wii game. I explain that he already had his game time earlier and that it's mommy's turn to watch something. He again runs to daddy for help, to which I hear "Sorry man, mom said no. She wants to watch her own show." Insert Bad Cop title here.

Example number 3: I have tried implementing the Scripture stories at bedtime, because little J doesn't do so well sitting and listening to us read (us, what was I thinking? It's just me.) I try to wrangle little J and Mr A to come and listen and I get another plee for help towards dad. I then again hear "Sorry, mom says we have to listen." Insert Bad Cop title here.

Why is it that Mr A seems to 'blame' mom for things instead of saying "WE read at night as a family." or "Mom worked hard taking care of you all day, it's her turn with the TV, we need to share." or "WE watch conference as a family, to listen to the prophet."

Is there some way to get a unified front? I mentioned this last night, after days of frustration of being 'blamed' for everything. I think sometimes it's easier for the Good Cop to 'blame', even if they don't realize they are blaming, because they are gone all day, don't have to deal with the discipline during the day, the cleaning, the frustration of toys everywhere, the feeding, the napping, the wiping of snotty noses...and when Good cop gets home, all they want to do is play and relax...

Let's just say this post is a vent, but still, does this happen to anyone else? or is Mr A the only one that seems to take upon himself the role of Good Cop Blame Game?

Master of Distractions

I'm sure you're all VERY aware that part of being a mom is coming up with distractions for your children. Creative moms can even make it seem like their kids came up with the alternate activity, therefore making it all the more appealing to them. I haven't quite reached that status yet, but I'm learning how to keep a stash of alternate activities (even just a mental list) because I work from home and have to care for my 2 year old at the same time.

My list of "distractions" includes:

• Starfall.com
• drawing/coloring
• reading his favorite books
• toys
• letter/number magnets
• eating a snack

What are some distractions that work for you?

The Naughty Spot...

I love Supernanny. Call me crazy, but this boistrous little English woman knows her stuff! I love her quote:

"Children need boundaries and ground rules. When children don't have structure, they make up their own rules and negative behavior is what they use to get your attention." - Jo Frost

We started implementing the "Naughty Spot" when J turned 2. There was no point trying to place a 1 year old on a spot for 1 minute. Doesn't happen people.

When he turned 2 we decided on a spot...Beside the Fridge. It worked awesome!

Here's our reasoning behind the Fridge:

1. If you place a child in their bedroom when they are bad, it does no good as a punishment. They have a place of comfort (bed), they have stimulating items (toys), or they will just fall asleep without thinking about or being talked to about what they did wrong.

2. Everywhere has a fridge. When we would travel to Canada to visit my family, anywhere we would go, if J was bad, I would threaten the fridge. Worked everytime.

3. In student housing everything just meshes together, so he would sit at the fridge and we could still monitor him.

Supernanny says that you should place your child in their Naughty Spot for the amount of time they are old. Ex: J is 3 now, he sits by the fridge for 3 minutes.

After his 3 minutes is up he has to come over and we explain to him WHY he had to sit by the fridge, and he has to apologize to either parent that placed him there. We then reassure him we love him and give him a hug.

We have found that it works for us, hopefully what you have discovered as far as discipline has worked for you.