Having watched a few friends and some family (yes, even me) go through some very difficult times in their marriage that could have or did result in divorce or separation, I find myself wondering at the best ways you all know of to shelter your children from potential emotional damage that arise from such situations.
Do you "ignore" the situation and act as normal as possible? Kids usually see through a lot of "acts" that parents put on, so I don't think that would work very well. But kids are so vulnerable while very young (like 3 years old).
So, dear, wise sister-mothers, how do you shelter your kids from potential emotional damage?
Showing posts with label Child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Child. Show all posts
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Making the change
There are a lot of milestones in a child's life. Rolling over, sleeping through the night, taking their first steps, saying their first word, potting training, and so on.
The one I want advice on today is: moving to a toddler bed.
When did you move your child into a big boy/big girl bed? Were they still able to take naps after they weren't caged anymore? How was the transition to sleeping in a bed? Any advice or special tricks that worked for you?
S is coming up on his 2nd birthday, so we want to start moving that way soon. I just want to be very prepared! :)
The one I want advice on today is: moving to a toddler bed.
When did you move your child into a big boy/big girl bed? Were they still able to take naps after they weren't caged anymore? How was the transition to sleeping in a bed? Any advice or special tricks that worked for you?
S is coming up on his 2nd birthday, so we want to start moving that way soon. I just want to be very prepared! :)
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Play groups
Now that summer is (almost) here, a lot of us are finding our way to the park to outside to enjoy the sun. In my little neighborhood, a few of us like to take our kids and walk to the park. We do a few laps around the park, then we let the kids play for a while. That's what we do for social interaction and exercise.
Some moms have successful play groups and play dates. I'd like to know all about those.
Do you have them scheduled weekly? Do you call and set them up whenever you want to play? Do you have snacks and games or just let the kids play? Do you rotate houses?
Come on. Give me the goods.
Some moms have successful play groups and play dates. I'd like to know all about those.
Do you have them scheduled weekly? Do you call and set them up whenever you want to play? Do you have snacks and games or just let the kids play? Do you rotate houses?
Come on. Give me the goods.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Help needed for Bath Time Woes
I recieved this plea for help quite a while ago, but I did not get it until recently. My deepest apologies Annie!
Here is her dilemma:
I have a 2 year old who loves taking baths...up until we wash her hair! We have tried every trick in the book to make this easier: having her lay back with her head tilited back, having a cloth over her eyes, she refuses to close her eyes! It is a battle to the death (almost) each time She SCREAMS super loud, yelling things like "STOP! IT HURTS!" I'm expecting the neighbors to call CPS any second. We try and sooth her, tell her it's just water! We wipe her eyes constantly, we use tear free shampoo...give her rewards...
As her mom and the main bather to her I'm pretty much at wits end with the SCREECHING and death cries! Do any of you moms have some advice on how to make hair washing less painful for both of us?!
Thanks
Annie
Here is her dilemma:
I have a 2 year old who loves taking baths...up until we wash her hair! We have tried every trick in the book to make this easier: having her lay back with her head tilited back, having a cloth over her eyes, she refuses to close her eyes! It is a battle to the death (almost) each time She SCREAMS super loud, yelling things like "STOP! IT HURTS!" I'm expecting the neighbors to call CPS any second. We try and sooth her, tell her it's just water! We wipe her eyes constantly, we use tear free shampoo...give her rewards...
As her mom and the main bather to her I'm pretty much at wits end with the SCREECHING and death cries! Do any of you moms have some advice on how to make hair washing less painful for both of us?!
Thanks
Annie
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Developing Imagination
My almost 3 year old (can he really be that old already?) has quite the imagination. It makes me laugh out loud quite often. Like it did today when he picked up a plastic Easter egg, opened it, held it up to his chest and said, "Look, Mommy! I got boobs!" Yes, he's my son. No, he didn't get that from me. :)
Imagination is something I think a lot of kids today are without because they sit in front of the TV or video games and are endlessly entertained, leaving imagination unneeded.
Reading is a great solution to that. My sis-in-law uses making up stories with her kids as an imagination development tool. I love both of those things.
What are some things you have done/do/plan to do to promote the use of imagination in your children?
Imagination is something I think a lot of kids today are without because they sit in front of the TV or video games and are endlessly entertained, leaving imagination unneeded.
Reading is a great solution to that. My sis-in-law uses making up stories with her kids as an imagination development tool. I love both of those things.
What are some things you have done/do/plan to do to promote the use of imagination in your children?
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
What is the best: Part 2: To bring or not to bring?
I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Our contributors are as well, and so are most of our readers. But not all.
So, if you are not of our faith, here's a quick lesson on our Sunday procedure. We attend three hours of church every Sunday. Our first hour is a meeting with the entire congregation. The second hour is broken into Sunday School classes (one for adults, one for teens, and a whole slew of classes for kids depending on their ages). The third hour is broken down again for teens and adults. Women go to one class, men to another. Teenage girls (12 - 18) attend one class, while teenage boys attend another. The children are still in the same class.
A child enters his/her first "class" at the tender age of 18 months. By this point they have social skills (if somewhat lacking), are able to understand and follow basic commands, and they have attention spans. Sort of. And yes, they still learn about Jesus at this age.
Husband and I had years and years to sit in Sacrament meeting (the first meeting with the congregation) and watch all the little families around us, and see how they get their kids to behave. AKA, be quiet. Some brought lots and lots of treats. Some brought toys of all shapes and sizes. Some brought a book or two. Some brought nothing.
It seems to me like the nothing category seems to be the option that keeps a child the most reverent. However! That's not always the case.
With us, S has to have at least a mild distraction. We bring a snack, a few books and usually a stuffed animal. I know that sounds like a lot, but it's really not. We've tried to bring toys, but he gets rowdy and we're distracted. But he's so young that if we had nothing, he'd get bored...and then he'd get naughty and loud and embarrassing. And not to mention we had to have enough to "entertain" him through three hours of classes because he wasn't old enough to go to Nursery (the children's class for babies.)
When I was a kid, my parents didn't bring anything. We just sat in the very front row and had to sit quietly. Occasionally we could have a pen and paper and write notes to each other, but not often.
Some families can bring lots of toys and coloring books and games, and their kids will sit quietly and play. Or they will feel like it's play time at home and they get loud.
Here's my question: What works best for your child or children? Did you have to change things once you had two or more kids?
Just curious.
So, if you are not of our faith, here's a quick lesson on our Sunday procedure. We attend three hours of church every Sunday. Our first hour is a meeting with the entire congregation. The second hour is broken into Sunday School classes (one for adults, one for teens, and a whole slew of classes for kids depending on their ages). The third hour is broken down again for teens and adults. Women go to one class, men to another. Teenage girls (12 - 18) attend one class, while teenage boys attend another. The children are still in the same class.
A child enters his/her first "class" at the tender age of 18 months. By this point they have social skills (if somewhat lacking), are able to understand and follow basic commands, and they have attention spans. Sort of. And yes, they still learn about Jesus at this age.
Husband and I had years and years to sit in Sacrament meeting (the first meeting with the congregation) and watch all the little families around us, and see how they get their kids to behave. AKA, be quiet. Some brought lots and lots of treats. Some brought toys of all shapes and sizes. Some brought a book or two. Some brought nothing.
It seems to me like the nothing category seems to be the option that keeps a child the most reverent. However! That's not always the case.
With us, S has to have at least a mild distraction. We bring a snack, a few books and usually a stuffed animal. I know that sounds like a lot, but it's really not. We've tried to bring toys, but he gets rowdy and we're distracted. But he's so young that if we had nothing, he'd get bored...and then he'd get naughty and loud and embarrassing. And not to mention we had to have enough to "entertain" him through three hours of classes because he wasn't old enough to go to Nursery (the children's class for babies.)
When I was a kid, my parents didn't bring anything. We just sat in the very front row and had to sit quietly. Occasionally we could have a pen and paper and write notes to each other, but not often.
Some families can bring lots of toys and coloring books and games, and their kids will sit quietly and play. Or they will feel like it's play time at home and they get loud.
Here's my question: What works best for your child or children? Did you have to change things once you had two or more kids?
Just curious.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Calming Reflex
We've all seen doctors checking knee reflexes, right? In order to do it correctly, they have to find just the right spot on your knee to tap with that little mallet they use before your leg will kick involuntarily because it's a reflex.
Did you know that babies have a calming reflex? I didn't until I took some of our readers' advice and read a book called "The Happiest Baby on the Block". Can I just say that this book has been a life saver for me? Let me tell you about this calming reflex that Dr. Karp has written his book about. AMAZING!
He says that after babies are born, they miss the comforting feelings they had while in the womb. He's found a few things that help to recreate that feeling. Each of these things triggers your baby's calming reflex as he's called it. And, if done in the correct order, these things will almost instantly calm your baby down. Seriously, it happens within a minute or two at most.
What are these things that trigger this awesome reflex? Dr. Karp calls them the 5 S's. Here they come:
I've also found that N gets overstimulated fairly quickly. If I pay close enough attention, I can catch it before he gets to his "inconsolable" stage where he needs all 5 S's. If I do catch it, just swaddling and sucking (sometimes swaying) are all he needs.
Good luck to all you new mommies out there! Hope this helps you as much as it has helped me!
Did you know that babies have a calming reflex? I didn't until I took some of our readers' advice and read a book called "The Happiest Baby on the Block". Can I just say that this book has been a life saver for me? Let me tell you about this calming reflex that Dr. Karp has written his book about. AMAZING!
He says that after babies are born, they miss the comforting feelings they had while in the womb. He's found a few things that help to recreate that feeling. Each of these things triggers your baby's calming reflex as he's called it. And, if done in the correct order, these things will almost instantly calm your baby down. Seriously, it happens within a minute or two at most.
What are these things that trigger this awesome reflex? Dr. Karp calls them the 5 S's. Here they come:
- Tight Swaddling: You need to make sure that baby's arms are wrapped tightly to his/her sides. Babies didn't have much room inside the womb, and they're not used to having all this space around them. It's scary being in a new place, right? (To see how Dr. Karp suggests you swaddle your baby, check out the book or his dvd at your local library)
- After swaddling, turn baby onto his/her Side/Stomach as you hold him/her. I've seen babies that consider leaning even a fraction of an inch to their back a "very bad thing" and remain inconsolable. But when tilted toward their stomach, they calm right down. Why? I'm not sure, but it seems to work, so I go with what Dr. Karp says on this one.
- Swinging comes next. They don't call them "Bouncing Babies" for nothing. You can either bounce your baby from side to side or do what I do. I sit down and put my baby on my legs (head by my knees) and rock my knees back and forth. It takes minimal effort and can be done even when you're bleary eyed at 2 a.m.
- If swaddling, side/stomach and swinging aren't enough to calm your baby, try giving them something to Suck on. Sucking naturally calms a baby, and when combined with the first three S's, it REALLY calms them down.
- The final S is Shushing. Dr. Karp says to shush as loud as the baby is crying. In his book he says that babies are used to a constant white noise that is at about the same level in volume as a vacuum cleaner. Other ways to provide this white noise could include turning a radio to static, or getting a hair dryer, turning it on the low setting and leaving it about 3-6 feet from baby. Or, you can always turn on a vacuum in the same room as baby. All of these can help with making your baby feel "at home" again.
I've also found that N gets overstimulated fairly quickly. If I pay close enough attention, I can catch it before he gets to his "inconsolable" stage where he needs all 5 S's. If I do catch it, just swaddling and sucking (sometimes swaying) are all he needs.
Good luck to all you new mommies out there! Hope this helps you as much as it has helped me!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Free books.
If you have a child from newborn to 5 years old, you are potentially eligible to receive free books.
How?
There is this neat little program called Dolly Parton's Imagination Library. It's a program sponsored by your local school district or a local businesses in which your registered child receives a free book every month until they are 5 years old.
Yes, a free book every month until they are 5. You can't beat that! Some of the books are amazing, and some are a little less awesome. It doesn't matter though because you can just take those less awesome books and donate them to charity.
How do you enroll? There are a few ways to do this. First check out the website here and click on your country. Then I usually just click on 1st time visitors. From there you can check and see if the program is available in your area. (You can also click on the "About Us" train car, then click on affiliates and see a list of participating cities/communities.)
If it is, you can go into your local school district office, ask to enroll in the Dolly Parton book club (they'll know what you're talking about) and fill out their little form.
It also appears you can do it from the Imagination Library website. This option wasn't available when I enrolled S, so I don't know how well it works.
If the program is not available in your area, you can try to get it in your community. The first place to start is with your school district. They may not even be aware of the program. After that I'm not sure exactly what needs to be done. I've looked into it a little on the IL website, but I think it will take work from the parents. Get some other interested moms on your side and see what you can do.
How?
There is this neat little program called Dolly Parton's Imagination Library. It's a program sponsored by your local school district or a local businesses in which your registered child receives a free book every month until they are 5 years old.
Yes, a free book every month until they are 5. You can't beat that! Some of the books are amazing, and some are a little less awesome. It doesn't matter though because you can just take those less awesome books and donate them to charity.
How do you enroll? There are a few ways to do this. First check out the website here and click on your country. Then I usually just click on 1st time visitors. From there you can check and see if the program is available in your area. (You can also click on the "About Us" train car, then click on affiliates and see a list of participating cities/communities.)
If it is, you can go into your local school district office, ask to enroll in the Dolly Parton book club (they'll know what you're talking about) and fill out their little form.
It also appears you can do it from the Imagination Library website. This option wasn't available when I enrolled S, so I don't know how well it works.
If the program is not available in your area, you can try to get it in your community. The first place to start is with your school district. They may not even be aware of the program. After that I'm not sure exactly what needs to be done. I've looked into it a little on the IL website, but I think it will take work from the parents. Get some other interested moms on your side and see what you can do.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Taking Advice. Even from family members.
With the holidays in full swing, we are bound to spend a few hours, if not a few days, with our friends and family members.
An interesting thing can occur if you spend enough time in the same room as people with children: everyone starts comparing notes. You don't know when to wean your child from a binky? You ask when everyone else did. Soon you will be overwhelmed with advice, not only on the binky matter, but on everything else as well. We've all learned things, we all have our opinions, we all know what works the best for our children. So naturally, we want to share it all. Isn't that what we do here?
But with the flood of advice and warnings and well wishing scoldings, you may be confused by what advice to follow. Surprised that so many people can think so differently about one subject. Embarrassed that no one thinks your way is a "good" way.
My advice to you? Just smile and nod. Sometimes, without meaning to, friends and even family, can make us feel bad about the way we parent.
Don't.
You love your child, you do your best, and that is all anyone can ask for. You know your child better than anyone, so if someone gives you advice you know won't work, just smile and nod. Say thanks. Add your two cents. Go home and feel good about the fact that even though we all parent differently, we can still get along nicely.
On the flipside of the coin, if someone asks for your opinion, give it to them but don't force it on them. Your idea is a good idea, but is it the best for someone else's child? Maybe, maybe not. Let the parent decide.
By the off chance that someone decides to attack you (I've heard mother-in-law horror stories but, thank goodness, have never had to deal with that!), don't get angry. That's the worst thing you can do because one tends to lose their logic when they are angry. Stay calm, breathe, tell the person whatever you want about why you do things the way you do. If they persist or you can't remember the reasons, just tell them that you appreciate their advice (even though you really just want to kick them in the shin), but you are doing what is best for you child. And then move on. Get up, walk away and leave them there. If you can't walk away, strike up a conversation with someone else immediately.
Anyone else have advice on how to deal with advice? :)
An interesting thing can occur if you spend enough time in the same room as people with children: everyone starts comparing notes. You don't know when to wean your child from a binky? You ask when everyone else did. Soon you will be overwhelmed with advice, not only on the binky matter, but on everything else as well. We've all learned things, we all have our opinions, we all know what works the best for our children. So naturally, we want to share it all. Isn't that what we do here?
But with the flood of advice and warnings and well wishing scoldings, you may be confused by what advice to follow. Surprised that so many people can think so differently about one subject. Embarrassed that no one thinks your way is a "good" way.
My advice to you? Just smile and nod. Sometimes, without meaning to, friends and even family, can make us feel bad about the way we parent.
Don't.
You love your child, you do your best, and that is all anyone can ask for. You know your child better than anyone, so if someone gives you advice you know won't work, just smile and nod. Say thanks. Add your two cents. Go home and feel good about the fact that even though we all parent differently, we can still get along nicely.
On the flipside of the coin, if someone asks for your opinion, give it to them but don't force it on them. Your idea is a good idea, but is it the best for someone else's child? Maybe, maybe not. Let the parent decide.
By the off chance that someone decides to attack you (I've heard mother-in-law horror stories but, thank goodness, have never had to deal with that!), don't get angry. That's the worst thing you can do because one tends to lose their logic when they are angry. Stay calm, breathe, tell the person whatever you want about why you do things the way you do. If they persist or you can't remember the reasons, just tell them that you appreciate their advice (even though you really just want to kick them in the shin), but you are doing what is best for you child. And then move on. Get up, walk away and leave them there. If you can't walk away, strike up a conversation with someone else immediately.
Anyone else have advice on how to deal with advice? :)
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Potty Training
This can be one of the most rewarding and exciting things you'll do with your child...at least up until this point in life. :) It can also be one of the most frustrating and disgusting jobs you'll ever do.
We've been potty training J for awhile now. We started in late September in the hopes that we'd have things mostly mastered by Christmas time which is when N will make his appearance. (There's just something about having only 1 child in diapers that is very appealing to me.)
Like every child that goes through this process, J has had his very good days and his very bad days. Today, for instance, he woke up dry. He said he didn't need to potty yet, and wanted to eat first. Lately he's been pretty in tune with those things, so I sat him down and let him eat his breakfast. He finished and got down to play. I had left him in his night time diaper just to make sure I wouldn't be cleaning up a morning woopsie.
As he was playing, he jumped right up and yelled, "Mommy! Potty toilet!!!" and then ran for all he was worth into the bathroom. My mommy heart swelled with pride. :) I was so happy that he's finally getting it!
He went back to playing and after a little while, he repeated the process, except this time his words were slightly different. Instead of a potty run, we were making a poop run. YAY again! But no matter how hard he'd try, he just couldn't (or wouldn't) make it come out.
Again, that was ok. At least he's trying to listen to his body now. We went through this at least 5 times in about 10 minutes, each time with no results. Then, his warning got a little more urgent and finally we had success. He told me he didn't want to wear a diaper, but he wanted to wear big boy underwear. Fine. (Keep in mind we're recovering from a GI virus.)
He went back to playing and then almost cried when he said, "Poop toilet!" as he had stuff running down his legs. I probably could have (and should have) been smarter about that, but I also wanted to encourage him to feel like he's doing something awesome and important. I want him to feel like he IS a big boy.
I know a family (and I'm not going to name any names) that went through the potty training of their 2nd boy as if it were boot camp. They'd make their little one sit on the toilet until he went...come crying or constipation...or both. Granted, he did have some major issues with constipation and it was hard to get him to go, but one parent would even resort to yelling to try to entice the poor little guy to go. It didn't help much as you might imagine.
Because of having seen that, and because my little guy has such a sensitive spirit, I knew I couldn't ever go about things that way for our family. What we've chosen to do instead is more like bribery. :) I'm not ashamed to admit it or even do it that way.
Every time J goes potty, he gets a piece of candy (Halloween candy worked wonders in this department as we would hardly give him any candy unless he went potty). Going poop was a totally different ball game. Candy didn't really work for him in that department. But giving him really cheap toy cars did/does. Every time he goes poop, he gets a new car. He LOVES his cars and lately has found a new way to get more of them.
We started out with setting the timer for 40 minutes or so and when the timer would go off, we'd go sit on the potty. It got to be kind of humorous for awhile because any time any dinger or buzzer would go off, J would jump up and yell, "Potty!" and run to the bathroom. Now he's starting to tell us when he has to go.
This is a way that has worked for us. It might not work for every parent or child and that's ok. There are several ways to go about potty training. It was suggested to us to let J wear the underwear underneath his diaper so he felt the wet a little more. That didn't work, but did make for a lot more laundry.
Though I'm no expert in this area by any means, my suggestion is to find a way that works best for your family (and especially for your child) and go with that. Be consistent and understanding. It is training after all and will take some time. :)
I'm looking forward to the time when we're only in diapers at night. And then to the time when we're completely out of diapers. That will be nice. :) And I'm sure those times are right around the corner.
We've been potty training J for awhile now. We started in late September in the hopes that we'd have things mostly mastered by Christmas time which is when N will make his appearance. (There's just something about having only 1 child in diapers that is very appealing to me.)
Like every child that goes through this process, J has had his very good days and his very bad days. Today, for instance, he woke up dry. He said he didn't need to potty yet, and wanted to eat first. Lately he's been pretty in tune with those things, so I sat him down and let him eat his breakfast. He finished and got down to play. I had left him in his night time diaper just to make sure I wouldn't be cleaning up a morning woopsie.
As he was playing, he jumped right up and yelled, "Mommy! Potty toilet!!!" and then ran for all he was worth into the bathroom. My mommy heart swelled with pride. :) I was so happy that he's finally getting it!
He went back to playing and after a little while, he repeated the process, except this time his words were slightly different. Instead of a potty run, we were making a poop run. YAY again! But no matter how hard he'd try, he just couldn't (or wouldn't) make it come out.
Again, that was ok. At least he's trying to listen to his body now. We went through this at least 5 times in about 10 minutes, each time with no results. Then, his warning got a little more urgent and finally we had success. He told me he didn't want to wear a diaper, but he wanted to wear big boy underwear. Fine. (Keep in mind we're recovering from a GI virus.)
He went back to playing and then almost cried when he said, "Poop toilet!" as he had stuff running down his legs. I probably could have (and should have) been smarter about that, but I also wanted to encourage him to feel like he's doing something awesome and important. I want him to feel like he IS a big boy.
I know a family (and I'm not going to name any names) that went through the potty training of their 2nd boy as if it were boot camp. They'd make their little one sit on the toilet until he went...come crying or constipation...or both. Granted, he did have some major issues with constipation and it was hard to get him to go, but one parent would even resort to yelling to try to entice the poor little guy to go. It didn't help much as you might imagine.
Because of having seen that, and because my little guy has such a sensitive spirit, I knew I couldn't ever go about things that way for our family. What we've chosen to do instead is more like bribery. :) I'm not ashamed to admit it or even do it that way.
Every time J goes potty, he gets a piece of candy (Halloween candy worked wonders in this department as we would hardly give him any candy unless he went potty). Going poop was a totally different ball game. Candy didn't really work for him in that department. But giving him really cheap toy cars did/does. Every time he goes poop, he gets a new car. He LOVES his cars and lately has found a new way to get more of them.
We started out with setting the timer for 40 minutes or so and when the timer would go off, we'd go sit on the potty. It got to be kind of humorous for awhile because any time any dinger or buzzer would go off, J would jump up and yell, "Potty!" and run to the bathroom. Now he's starting to tell us when he has to go.
This is a way that has worked for us. It might not work for every parent or child and that's ok. There are several ways to go about potty training. It was suggested to us to let J wear the underwear underneath his diaper so he felt the wet a little more. That didn't work, but did make for a lot more laundry.
Though I'm no expert in this area by any means, my suggestion is to find a way that works best for your family (and especially for your child) and go with that. Be consistent and understanding. It is training after all and will take some time. :)
I'm looking forward to the time when we're only in diapers at night. And then to the time when we're completely out of diapers. That will be nice. :) And I'm sure those times are right around the corner.
Friday, November 19, 2010
When my baby is sick...
Yay, the holidays are here. Snow is on it's way. Soon we'll all be joining hands around a giant Christmas tree singing,
Oh, wait, I guess that's the Who's in Whoville. Anyway.
Let's face it folks, it's flu season. And cold season. And pneumonia season. And RSV season. And G.I. virus season. And (insert illness here) season. So many of my friends, family, and fellow mothers are home sick with their little ones.
One of our mommies asked for advice on what we like to do when our babies are sick, but I think so many of us were home sick with our babies that we didn't have time to respond.
I've been thinking about it, and here are just a few areas I have some ideas. More are appreciated.
COUGH/COLD
When I had my first child (and by "had" I mean adopted), I was pretty sure I had this mothering thing down. I knew why my baby was crying and how to fix it. I knew much to feed him. I knew that he needed his nose suctioned every morning and his fingernails clipped every three days. I knew that he sneezed a lot in the sunlight, and that he didn't love his swing. Yet. I knew how many times he pooped a day and how many ounces of formula he guzzled.
But when he got a cough at 4 months old, I felt like I needed to call this kid's mommy and have her pick him up. And then I remembered, "Oh wait. I am the mommy." I didn't really know what to do. My son didn't have a fever, but he had terrible green mucus and a cough that didn't sound wet, just uncomfortable.
I didn't want to call the doctor's office every ten minutes, so I watched S for a day and made sure I had all his symptoms. Then I called. I talked to the nurse and she told me a few good tips.
With babies that young, they can't have medicine. She told me to ease his discomfort and coughing, I could give him an ounce for every month old he was of warm apple juice. So, since he was 4 months old, he could have up to 4 oz of warm apple juice per day. (I actually watered it down, but I think it worked just the same.)
Also, I got baby Vick's vapor rub and rubbed it on his chest and feet. Yes, the soles of his feet. You may think it's silly, but it really does work. And besides, it's homeopathic, so why not give it a try? It also eases their discomfort from coughing and helps them sleep better. I loved that stuff and grew to associate it's smell with the smell of my baby. It says it's safe for babies 6 months and older, but the doc said I could use it on S.
You can use a humidifier to help baby breath at night. Get friendly with your child's nasal aspirator and keep one in every room of your house. If your child is older, sometimes propping them up helps them sleep better at night. Our son was always propped because the nurses at the hospital told us it would help with his acid reflux. However, you still have to be very careful with newborns and extra blankets or pillows. SIDS is always a risk.
Also, there is this cool thing called saline mist that you can spray into your baby's nose. It helps with breathing, and I found it also loosened up the dry gunk and made it easier for me to suction out.
RSV
A few months later, my son's cold returned, but this time it was different. His eyes were watery, as seen in the picture below.
His nose was constantly running, and his cough was wet. He was tired all the time and not really playful. Still happy, just lethargic. I called my sister-in-law that day to ask her about her son who was a year old and had just been diagnosed with RSV.
"I think that's what S has," I told her. The next day I took my son in to the doctor. He checked him out, listened to his lungs and his cough. Sure enough, my little guy had RSV. My sister-in-law said she had never seen a mother so in tune to her baby. That made me feel pretty good, but I told her it wasn't because I'm special, it was because I'd kept S indoors for the first 3 months of his life trying to avoid getting RSV.
There was a few things more we could do for him than with a common cold. We bought a nebulizer and gave him prescription breathing treatments every few hours.
It wasn't exactly fun or comfortable, but we did what we had to. We also made sure my husband and I did not spread the virus. S stayed home so as not to share the wealth. We washed our hands and clothes regularly, and we made sure S was as comfortable and happy as possible.
Why am I going through the trouble of this rather lengthy and possibly not all that interesting post?
Because. The only reason I knew to look for the symptoms of RSV were because someone had told me about them. RSV itself is not fatal, but it can weaken the immune system, making way for things like pneumonia, which can be fatal. So just be careful.
I also wish that I had been given some ideas on what to do when my baby is really sick. Now you know for a cough you can use apple juice and Vick's to the soles. Also, make sure your baby/child is hydrated. They may not feel like eating, but they've got to drink.
STOMACH FLU/ILLNESS
Our mommy Nicole just posted on her personal blog that her son J is having GI problems. He's been puking and...other fun activities, so his pediatrician recommended he eat bananas and yogurt. I don't know anything about this topic, so ideas are welcome.
RASH
A few weeks ago my son got a mystery rash. It was so strange and bizarre and I hated it. I was frightened. I called my mother, who didn't answer. I called my neighbor who is an ER nurse, and she wasn't home. I called my brother-in-law who is a Pharmacist. He asked me all the questions I expected. Did he have a fever? Was he introduced to any new foods? Did we recently change his laundry detergent? Was he itchy and scratching? Did he have any other symptoms?
The answer to all of these questions was no. My brother-in-law's advice to me was not to treat the symptom if it wasn't there. Benedryl would have been my first go-to drug, but I didn't have any. However, S wasn't itchy. He wasn't scratching. He wasn't miserable. The only reason I even knew he had a rash was because I happened to see it while changing his diaper.
So I watched him like a hawk, afraid that if I even picked him up I might irritate his rash. After a day, it went away. I never used Benedryl. Would S have died if I did? No. But I knew that it would have been for my own peace of mind instead of the well being of my child.
That being said, if I had said yes to any of those questions, I may have, honestly, taken S right to the doctor or the ER. I'm not even kidding. Especially with the food allergy. If he had been cranky or scratching, I would have pumped him so full of Benedryl that rash wouldn't have known what was coming!
Bottom line: rashes are scary. Don't freak out. Ask yourself a bunch of questions, watch your baby and his/her behavior, and then react.
You are the mom. You know best.
TEETHING
My son is now old enough to be getting some molars. Yippee. We took him to the dentist two weeks ago, and he actually recommended using a frozen Gogurt to help with teething pains. It's cold, it's edible. It's small enough for him to fit in the back of his mouth.
It was brilliant. I tried it on S and it was great. Messy, but great.
When it comes to cutting teeth, I don't skimp on the pain meds if my child is in need. If he's awake and happy and playing, I don't bother because he's plenty distracted. But when he starts to tug on his ears and hit his face or head, I break out the Tylenol. Or if he's going to bed. I don't want him sleeping terribly because he's in pain all night.
A bib also helps with the little ones. That way their shirts aren't covered in drool. :)
I noticed that my son's chin gets red and irritated when he is teething because the drool drips down his chin and just kind of hangs out there. I try to keep a rag around to dab off the drool and keep his chin from chapping.
FEVER
This section will be relatively blank. You see, my son does not get a fever. Hardly ever. Even when he had RSV he had a very low grade fever. Does that mean he doesn't get sick? No. In fact, he just expresses it in different ways. For example. About a week before the rash incident, all of a sudden my baby had really red cheeks. They stayed red for hours. He seemed a little down, a little more tired. No cough, not really a runny nose. But I knew that this was his body's way of telling me he was sick. I gave him Tylenol, lots of liquids, lots of rest, etc. After a few hours he felt better.
What I know of fevers is that it's usually not the fever that is the problem (unless it's really high, and then you've got a serious problem!). The fever is just a symptom of something else going on. It could be a simple bug going around or even teething. Or it could be something bigger. You know your child, so don't be afraid to call your pediatrician and tell him your child's symptoms if you are really concerned.
--
So, as you can see, in my limited experience, I have found a lot of things help for me. I'll ask you to share what helps you take care of your little guy or girl when they are under the weather, and if you aren't too busy mopping up puke or dosing out cough medicine, I'd love to hear.
One last thing. Mother's instinct is sometimes confused with panicking, but it's like I said before. YOU know your child, and if the doctor/nurse/etc won't listen to you, and you are sure there is something very wrong with your baby, you leave and find a doctor who is willing to listen to you and not brush aside your God given talent of mothering.
Fah who For-aze
Dah who dor-aze
Welcome Christmas
Come this way!
Dah who dor-aze
Welcome Christmas
Come this way!
Oh, wait, I guess that's the Who's in Whoville. Anyway.
Let's face it folks, it's flu season. And cold season. And pneumonia season. And RSV season. And G.I. virus season. And (insert illness here) season. So many of my friends, family, and fellow mothers are home sick with their little ones.
One of our mommies asked for advice on what we like to do when our babies are sick, but I think so many of us were home sick with our babies that we didn't have time to respond.
I've been thinking about it, and here are just a few areas I have some ideas. More are appreciated.
COUGH/COLD
When I had my first child (and by "had" I mean adopted), I was pretty sure I had this mothering thing down. I knew why my baby was crying and how to fix it. I knew much to feed him. I knew that he needed his nose suctioned every morning and his fingernails clipped every three days. I knew that he sneezed a lot in the sunlight, and that he didn't love his swing. Yet. I knew how many times he pooped a day and how many ounces of formula he guzzled.
But when he got a cough at 4 months old, I felt like I needed to call this kid's mommy and have her pick him up. And then I remembered, "Oh wait. I am the mommy." I didn't really know what to do. My son didn't have a fever, but he had terrible green mucus and a cough that didn't sound wet, just uncomfortable.
I didn't want to call the doctor's office every ten minutes, so I watched S for a day and made sure I had all his symptoms. Then I called. I talked to the nurse and she told me a few good tips.
With babies that young, they can't have medicine. She told me to ease his discomfort and coughing, I could give him an ounce for every month old he was of warm apple juice. So, since he was 4 months old, he could have up to 4 oz of warm apple juice per day. (I actually watered it down, but I think it worked just the same.)
Also, I got baby Vick's vapor rub and rubbed it on his chest and feet. Yes, the soles of his feet. You may think it's silly, but it really does work. And besides, it's homeopathic, so why not give it a try? It also eases their discomfort from coughing and helps them sleep better. I loved that stuff and grew to associate it's smell with the smell of my baby. It says it's safe for babies 6 months and older, but the doc said I could use it on S.
You can use a humidifier to help baby breath at night. Get friendly with your child's nasal aspirator and keep one in every room of your house. If your child is older, sometimes propping them up helps them sleep better at night. Our son was always propped because the nurses at the hospital told us it would help with his acid reflux. However, you still have to be very careful with newborns and extra blankets or pillows. SIDS is always a risk.
Also, there is this cool thing called saline mist that you can spray into your baby's nose. It helps with breathing, and I found it also loosened up the dry gunk and made it easier for me to suction out.
RSV
A few months later, my son's cold returned, but this time it was different. His eyes were watery, as seen in the picture below.
His nose was constantly running, and his cough was wet. He was tired all the time and not really playful. Still happy, just lethargic. I called my sister-in-law that day to ask her about her son who was a year old and had just been diagnosed with RSV.
"I think that's what S has," I told her. The next day I took my son in to the doctor. He checked him out, listened to his lungs and his cough. Sure enough, my little guy had RSV. My sister-in-law said she had never seen a mother so in tune to her baby. That made me feel pretty good, but I told her it wasn't because I'm special, it was because I'd kept S indoors for the first 3 months of his life trying to avoid getting RSV.
There was a few things more we could do for him than with a common cold. We bought a nebulizer and gave him prescription breathing treatments every few hours.
It wasn't exactly fun or comfortable, but we did what we had to. We also made sure my husband and I did not spread the virus. S stayed home so as not to share the wealth. We washed our hands and clothes regularly, and we made sure S was as comfortable and happy as possible.
Why am I going through the trouble of this rather lengthy and possibly not all that interesting post?
Because. The only reason I knew to look for the symptoms of RSV were because someone had told me about them. RSV itself is not fatal, but it can weaken the immune system, making way for things like pneumonia, which can be fatal. So just be careful.
I also wish that I had been given some ideas on what to do when my baby is really sick. Now you know for a cough you can use apple juice and Vick's to the soles. Also, make sure your baby/child is hydrated. They may not feel like eating, but they've got to drink.
STOMACH FLU/ILLNESS
Our mommy Nicole just posted on her personal blog that her son J is having GI problems. He's been puking and...other fun activities, so his pediatrician recommended he eat bananas and yogurt. I don't know anything about this topic, so ideas are welcome.
RASH
A few weeks ago my son got a mystery rash. It was so strange and bizarre and I hated it. I was frightened. I called my mother, who didn't answer. I called my neighbor who is an ER nurse, and she wasn't home. I called my brother-in-law who is a Pharmacist. He asked me all the questions I expected. Did he have a fever? Was he introduced to any new foods? Did we recently change his laundry detergent? Was he itchy and scratching? Did he have any other symptoms?
The answer to all of these questions was no. My brother-in-law's advice to me was not to treat the symptom if it wasn't there. Benedryl would have been my first go-to drug, but I didn't have any. However, S wasn't itchy. He wasn't scratching. He wasn't miserable. The only reason I even knew he had a rash was because I happened to see it while changing his diaper.
So I watched him like a hawk, afraid that if I even picked him up I might irritate his rash. After a day, it went away. I never used Benedryl. Would S have died if I did? No. But I knew that it would have been for my own peace of mind instead of the well being of my child.
That being said, if I had said yes to any of those questions, I may have, honestly, taken S right to the doctor or the ER. I'm not even kidding. Especially with the food allergy. If he had been cranky or scratching, I would have pumped him so full of Benedryl that rash wouldn't have known what was coming!
Bottom line: rashes are scary. Don't freak out. Ask yourself a bunch of questions, watch your baby and his/her behavior, and then react.
You are the mom. You know best.
TEETHING
My son is now old enough to be getting some molars. Yippee. We took him to the dentist two weeks ago, and he actually recommended using a frozen Gogurt to help with teething pains. It's cold, it's edible. It's small enough for him to fit in the back of his mouth.
It was brilliant. I tried it on S and it was great. Messy, but great.
When it comes to cutting teeth, I don't skimp on the pain meds if my child is in need. If he's awake and happy and playing, I don't bother because he's plenty distracted. But when he starts to tug on his ears and hit his face or head, I break out the Tylenol. Or if he's going to bed. I don't want him sleeping terribly because he's in pain all night.
A bib also helps with the little ones. That way their shirts aren't covered in drool. :)
I noticed that my son's chin gets red and irritated when he is teething because the drool drips down his chin and just kind of hangs out there. I try to keep a rag around to dab off the drool and keep his chin from chapping.
FEVER
This section will be relatively blank. You see, my son does not get a fever. Hardly ever. Even when he had RSV he had a very low grade fever. Does that mean he doesn't get sick? No. In fact, he just expresses it in different ways. For example. About a week before the rash incident, all of a sudden my baby had really red cheeks. They stayed red for hours. He seemed a little down, a little more tired. No cough, not really a runny nose. But I knew that this was his body's way of telling me he was sick. I gave him Tylenol, lots of liquids, lots of rest, etc. After a few hours he felt better.
What I know of fevers is that it's usually not the fever that is the problem (unless it's really high, and then you've got a serious problem!). The fever is just a symptom of something else going on. It could be a simple bug going around or even teething. Or it could be something bigger. You know your child, so don't be afraid to call your pediatrician and tell him your child's symptoms if you are really concerned.
--
So, as you can see, in my limited experience, I have found a lot of things help for me. I'll ask you to share what helps you take care of your little guy or girl when they are under the weather, and if you aren't too busy mopping up puke or dosing out cough medicine, I'd love to hear.
One last thing. Mother's instinct is sometimes confused with panicking, but it's like I said before. YOU know your child, and if the doctor/nurse/etc won't listen to you, and you are sure there is something very wrong with your baby, you leave and find a doctor who is willing to listen to you and not brush aside your God given talent of mothering.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Sick with the Flu
Being sick is never fun. Having sick kids is almost worse because not only does it tug at your heart strings, but if they're young, there's not much you can give them (medicine wise) to comfort them and help with their symptoms.
This last weekend, we had a little boy who was sick with the flu. He threw up BIG time three times during the day. Each one was on me. He'd come up and want to be held and then just toss his cookies all over the place. That night he kept throwing up every few hours, but it would mostly be Sprite and crackers that we had given him. I just felt so helpless, but I knew it was only the flu and that it wasn't really terribly bad. It just seemed worse because he was barfing on me.
What are some things that you moms out there do for your kids when they're not feeling their best?
This last weekend, we had a little boy who was sick with the flu. He threw up BIG time three times during the day. Each one was on me. He'd come up and want to be held and then just toss his cookies all over the place. That night he kept throwing up every few hours, but it would mostly be Sprite and crackers that we had given him. I just felt so helpless, but I knew it was only the flu and that it wasn't really terribly bad. It just seemed worse because he was barfing on me.
What are some things that you moms out there do for your kids when they're not feeling their best?
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Feeling Overlooked
My husband and I are both middle children. We've both had to do our fair share of vying for parental (and sometimes sibling) attention. There have been times when we've felt a little overlooked, which can sometimes be the case in a family with so many children.
BUT, vying for attention is not something I want my kids to ever feel like they have to do. And, I don't ever want them to feel neglected or unloved or like we're playing favorites.
How do you moms of multiple children ensure that all of your children feel loved and like you're paying attention to them? I've been wondering about this a lot lately, because it will soon (within the next month and a half) be more of a worry for me. I'm due to have our second son in about 49-ish days. When our little guy shows up, I want our older son to still feel as loved as he has been. I don't want him to feel excluded, overlooked or ignored.
So, if you would, please share things that you have done that help with this situation.
BUT, vying for attention is not something I want my kids to ever feel like they have to do. And, I don't ever want them to feel neglected or unloved or like we're playing favorites.
How do you moms of multiple children ensure that all of your children feel loved and like you're paying attention to them? I've been wondering about this a lot lately, because it will soon (within the next month and a half) be more of a worry for me. I'm due to have our second son in about 49-ish days. When our little guy shows up, I want our older son to still feel as loved as he has been. I don't want him to feel excluded, overlooked or ignored.
So, if you would, please share things that you have done that help with this situation.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Hug your babies
This morning my son woke up extra early. I gave him a bottle and some toys and left him in the crib so that I could shower. After I got out of the shower, he started to scream.
I took him out of the crib, sang to him and changed his diaper, put on fresh clothes and tried to read him a book. All the while he kicked and thrashed. He screamed at me and banged his head against the floor. (He's into doing that now and I hate it.) When I held him, he fought me. When I put him down, he crawled into my lap and laid there. If I sang "Popcorn Popping," he laughed. When I tried to hand him something we could play with, he screamed and threw it. This all happened in his room.
I figured maybe he wanted to play with his other toys, so I opened the door and tried to get him to walk out to the living room. He's been carried his whole life and has grown somewhat accustomed to it. When I try to get him to walk first thing in the morning or right after a nap, he screams and goes limp so that I'm basically carrying him by the arms.
By this point, my fuse had been lit.
"Fine," I told him, leaving him in a bawling heap in the hall. "You may sit there and throw a fit. When you are finished, come find mommy and we'll play."
I went and started scrubbing dishes. My boy came into the kitchen and started pushing me away from the sink and the counter. He stuck himself between me and the cupboard and pushed. I got the point and dried my hands. I picked him up and carried him to the living room where I tried to sit down and read books.
He screamed.
And so it went for another hour. He didn't want left alone. He didn't want held. He didn't want me to put him down. He didn't want food or his water. He would laugh and be cute, but then if he thought I was looking at him funny or maybe not looking at him enough, he'd scream and kick and thrash.
I tried to put him down for a nap after he'd been up for 2 hours, but he screamed for 20 minutes and cried himself into hysterics. I picked him up and we started the whole thing all over again.
I told my husband I think someone took our baby in the night and left us with this screaming monster.
He then told me the tragedy of a little girl, three years old, who was run over by a truck yesterday afternoon. She died early this morning.
My baby's behavior did not change, but mine did. I was more patient with him. I held him and let him cry for a while until finally he was just flopped across my legs letting me scratch his back. I gave him Tylenol (he's cutting molars) and put him down for a nap again. Even though he's asleep, I'm having a hard time not going in there and pulling him out of his crib so I can snuggle him close. Because somewhere there is a mother who won't get that chance.
I'm sorry I took my baby for granted this morning. And my heart aches for your loss. I've shed a few tears for you, and I've said some prayers for you. I hope that you'll find peace. Soon.
I took him out of the crib, sang to him and changed his diaper, put on fresh clothes and tried to read him a book. All the while he kicked and thrashed. He screamed at me and banged his head against the floor. (He's into doing that now and I hate it.) When I held him, he fought me. When I put him down, he crawled into my lap and laid there. If I sang "Popcorn Popping," he laughed. When I tried to hand him something we could play with, he screamed and threw it. This all happened in his room.
I figured maybe he wanted to play with his other toys, so I opened the door and tried to get him to walk out to the living room. He's been carried his whole life and has grown somewhat accustomed to it. When I try to get him to walk first thing in the morning or right after a nap, he screams and goes limp so that I'm basically carrying him by the arms.
By this point, my fuse had been lit.
"Fine," I told him, leaving him in a bawling heap in the hall. "You may sit there and throw a fit. When you are finished, come find mommy and we'll play."
I went and started scrubbing dishes. My boy came into the kitchen and started pushing me away from the sink and the counter. He stuck himself between me and the cupboard and pushed. I got the point and dried my hands. I picked him up and carried him to the living room where I tried to sit down and read books.
He screamed.
And so it went for another hour. He didn't want left alone. He didn't want held. He didn't want me to put him down. He didn't want food or his water. He would laugh and be cute, but then if he thought I was looking at him funny or maybe not looking at him enough, he'd scream and kick and thrash.
I tried to put him down for a nap after he'd been up for 2 hours, but he screamed for 20 minutes and cried himself into hysterics. I picked him up and we started the whole thing all over again.
I told my husband I think someone took our baby in the night and left us with this screaming monster.
He then told me the tragedy of a little girl, three years old, who was run over by a truck yesterday afternoon. She died early this morning.
My baby's behavior did not change, but mine did. I was more patient with him. I held him and let him cry for a while until finally he was just flopped across my legs letting me scratch his back. I gave him Tylenol (he's cutting molars) and put him down for a nap again. Even though he's asleep, I'm having a hard time not going in there and pulling him out of his crib so I can snuggle him close. Because somewhere there is a mother who won't get that chance.
I'm sorry I took my baby for granted this morning. And my heart aches for your loss. I've shed a few tears for you, and I've said some prayers for you. I hope that you'll find peace. Soon.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Candy, Candy, Candy
This time of year always comes with a double edge sword.....copious amount of candy. Good because well....its good! and bad because of stomach aches, cavities and the not so much fun part of telling children they can't eat five pounds of candy at once!
There are a few ways to deal with all this yumminess.
One: sneak into the kids buckets nightly and start eating some of it down. They probably won't notice its going down. But then we end up with the extra work outs and the tummy aches. ;)
Two: put the candy away. Out of sight out of mind. When they ask for some of that goodness, get it out and have a few pieces. Eventually something new and fabulous will come along that will let them forget....like Christmas.
Two: put the candy away. Out of sight out of mind. When they ask for some of that goodness, get it out and have a few pieces. Eventually something new and fabulous will come along that will let them forget....like Christmas.
Third: Let the children pick about a week to two weeks worth of candy out (how many pieces a day/week you think is a good amount) and then tell the children to put their candy buckets outside their door. That night he tooth fairy will come and exchange the candy for an awesome prize (prizes can range from toys, to color books... even money to buy their own fun prize). The kids get to keep some candy and they get a cool new toy. Best of both worlds and you my friends get to do with that candy as you please.
We do the last one and surprisingly the kids are excited about getting to have both the candy and a toy. Plus we explain to them they are keeping their bodies and teeth healthy! It might not work well for the older children but it will work for a bit for the younger ones. :)
Night Terrors
Well, this is the post you've been waiting for. Okay, so only Deborah has been waiting for it because she knew about it. Anywho...
My son has never been a good sleeper. That's just a fact. But back in July when he started waking up EVERY night for weeks screaming and could not be comforted, I thought it was strange.
Here are the things that tipped me off that something was wrong:
1) He would wake up crying about the same time every night.
2) When we'd pick him up to comfort him, he would thrash, hit us, swat his ears, and just cry.
3) It would normally take us a couple of hours to get him calmed down and back to sleep.
One night it was so bad that I got a total of 4 hours of sleep (and I'd been dealing with lack of sleep already from previous nights). And then I still had to be up with him and parent the rest of the day. Yeah, I think that's the day I bawled my head off and called my sister to tell her that if motherhood was a job, I would quit. It was that bad.
After two weeks of this, I thought, "He has to be sick or something. This is NOT normal, even for him." I was so sure he had an ear infection or something because he got 3 of them last winter and he was swatting his ears when he'd wake up in the night.
I took him to the doctor, hoping for the first time in Kaleb's life that he was sick so they could just give me medicine and make it all go away. After two weeks of little sleep and a very cranky son, I was desperate.
The doctor looked at him and then said, "Well, he looks perfectly healthy to me. The only thing I can think of is that he's having night terrors. And unfortunately, there's nothing you can really do for that except make sure he has a regular bedtime and gets as much sleep as possible. They usually grow out of it. But if he hasn't stopped having them in 3 weeks, give me a call and maybe we'll do some sleep tests on him."
"THREE WEEKS?!?!?! I can't handle this for three more weeks!" Is what I wanted to say. But instead I thanked him and left.
Here's the problem: I had always thought that night terrors were just really bad nightmares. And if you were thinking the same thing, don't feel bad. Unless you've had a child or friend or someone you know go through it, you wouldn't know anything different. It's not as if they give you a handout on "Night Terrors" at the pediatrician's office to go along with the bazillion shot handouts they give you every time.
So when I got home, I did a little research on night terrors and discovered that they are NOT just bad nightmares. Basically, in layman terms, they could be described as sleep-nightmares, relating to sleep-walking or sleep-talking. When a person has a night terror, they are still asleep, even if they're screaming, thrashing, or have their eyes open. Another difference is that nightmares happen in REM sleep, night terrors happen in non-REM sleep. And, children or people who are old enough to tell you, won't remember a thing the next morning.
I found out that the main causes of night terrors is either stress or lack of sleep. With Kaleb, I knew it was a lack of sleep because he'd been staying up later and still waking up at the same time. I realized that it was a vicious cycle with him. He would be tired which would cause him to have a night terror which would make it so we were up with him for hours which would lead to more lack of sleep which would lead to a night terror the next night.
The turning point for me was when I read this from about.com:
"Typical night terrors last about 5 to 30 minutes and afterwards, children usually return to a regular sleep. If you are able to wake your child up during a night terror, he is likely to become scared and agitated, mostly because of your own reaction to the night terror, especially if you were shaking or yelling at him to wake up. Instead of trying to wake up a child having a night terror, it is usually better to just make sure he is safe, comfort him if you can, and help him return to sleep once it is over."
I also read something from a doctor online that basically said, "It can make it worse if you touch them. It's okay to let them cry. It might take even up to 45 minutes, but they will stop and go back to sleep."
That was a relief. Once I felt like I had "permission" to let him cry, it got so much better. When he would wake up crying, I would turn off the monitor, go lay out on the couch where I could hear him, doze on and off while he cried, and he would stop crying within a half hour or so. Ryan and I also made sure we were putting him to bed at a good bedtime every night. Within a week, he stopped having them.
After going through this with Kaleb, I feel that EVERYONE needs to know what night terrors are and how to cope with them. Every kid is different when they have them too. It can vary in symptoms, age, and "cures." But it's important that every mom knows exactly what they are and that they are not just bad nightmares.
It was a very long 3 weeks for my hubby and I, but we made it through and hope to never have to go back to that. And I hope none of you go through it either because it can be terrifying. But if you do or someone you know does, now hopefully you can learn from our experience!
My son has never been a good sleeper. That's just a fact. But back in July when he started waking up EVERY night for weeks screaming and could not be comforted, I thought it was strange.
Here are the things that tipped me off that something was wrong:
1) He would wake up crying about the same time every night.
2) When we'd pick him up to comfort him, he would thrash, hit us, swat his ears, and just cry.
3) It would normally take us a couple of hours to get him calmed down and back to sleep.
One night it was so bad that I got a total of 4 hours of sleep (and I'd been dealing with lack of sleep already from previous nights). And then I still had to be up with him and parent the rest of the day. Yeah, I think that's the day I bawled my head off and called my sister to tell her that if motherhood was a job, I would quit. It was that bad.
After two weeks of this, I thought, "He has to be sick or something. This is NOT normal, even for him." I was so sure he had an ear infection or something because he got 3 of them last winter and he was swatting his ears when he'd wake up in the night.
I took him to the doctor, hoping for the first time in Kaleb's life that he was sick so they could just give me medicine and make it all go away. After two weeks of little sleep and a very cranky son, I was desperate.
The doctor looked at him and then said, "Well, he looks perfectly healthy to me. The only thing I can think of is that he's having night terrors. And unfortunately, there's nothing you can really do for that except make sure he has a regular bedtime and gets as much sleep as possible. They usually grow out of it. But if he hasn't stopped having them in 3 weeks, give me a call and maybe we'll do some sleep tests on him."
"THREE WEEKS?!?!?! I can't handle this for three more weeks!" Is what I wanted to say. But instead I thanked him and left.
Here's the problem: I had always thought that night terrors were just really bad nightmares. And if you were thinking the same thing, don't feel bad. Unless you've had a child or friend or someone you know go through it, you wouldn't know anything different. It's not as if they give you a handout on "Night Terrors" at the pediatrician's office to go along with the bazillion shot handouts they give you every time.
So when I got home, I did a little research on night terrors and discovered that they are NOT just bad nightmares. Basically, in layman terms, they could be described as sleep-nightmares, relating to sleep-walking or sleep-talking. When a person has a night terror, they are still asleep, even if they're screaming, thrashing, or have their eyes open. Another difference is that nightmares happen in REM sleep, night terrors happen in non-REM sleep. And, children or people who are old enough to tell you, won't remember a thing the next morning.
I found out that the main causes of night terrors is either stress or lack of sleep. With Kaleb, I knew it was a lack of sleep because he'd been staying up later and still waking up at the same time. I realized that it was a vicious cycle with him. He would be tired which would cause him to have a night terror which would make it so we were up with him for hours which would lead to more lack of sleep which would lead to a night terror the next night.
The turning point for me was when I read this from about.com:
"Typical night terrors last about 5 to 30 minutes and afterwards, children usually return to a regular sleep. If you are able to wake your child up during a night terror, he is likely to become scared and agitated, mostly because of your own reaction to the night terror, especially if you were shaking or yelling at him to wake up. Instead of trying to wake up a child having a night terror, it is usually better to just make sure he is safe, comfort him if you can, and help him return to sleep once it is over."
I also read something from a doctor online that basically said, "It can make it worse if you touch them. It's okay to let them cry. It might take even up to 45 minutes, but they will stop and go back to sleep."
That was a relief. Once I felt like I had "permission" to let him cry, it got so much better. When he would wake up crying, I would turn off the monitor, go lay out on the couch where I could hear him, doze on and off while he cried, and he would stop crying within a half hour or so. Ryan and I also made sure we were putting him to bed at a good bedtime every night. Within a week, he stopped having them.
After going through this with Kaleb, I feel that EVERYONE needs to know what night terrors are and how to cope with them. Every kid is different when they have them too. It can vary in symptoms, age, and "cures." But it's important that every mom knows exactly what they are and that they are not just bad nightmares.
It was a very long 3 weeks for my hubby and I, but we made it through and hope to never have to go back to that. And I hope none of you go through it either because it can be terrifying. But if you do or someone you know does, now hopefully you can learn from our experience!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Constipation Anyone?
If your kids are anything like mine, then their internal plumbing systems will stop working quite as well once they start solids. I don't know what it is, but my babies just plug right up once solids are introduced. It doesn't matter how much they drink, or how diluted their cereal is, they seem to have a really tough time with filling their diapers up. I have learned a few different things to try when your little one is spending a lot of time grunting without much to show for it.
1. Prunes and Prune Juice: Doctors will usually recommend this first. They claim that it softens things up and gets them flowing again. I have never had much luck with them myself, but old people eat/drink them for the same reason, so there must be some truth to it.
2. Blueberries: I haven't had to use blueberries specifically for this purpose, but my kids love them. I have been told that they work like a charm when it comes to cleaning out those little baby pipes.
3. Yogurt: I tried almost everything you can imagine with my first child and she continued to remain clogged up almost constantly until she was introduced to yogurt. Once she was old enough, I started to feed her yogurt every single day and she has not had a bowel problem since.
4. CARROTS: Yes, those beloved little orange bits of deliciousness that most children will gobble up quite willingly are filled with fiber. Especially if your baby is not old enough to eat yogurt yet, then carrots are a good option. If my little one has gone for several days without stinking up the house, then I will feed her a big helping of carrots. Without fail, she will have a major blowout by the next morning. Sometimes they work a little too well and the mess is uncontainable. But that is information for another post ;)
5. Suppository: If nothing else works, you may be in need of a suppository. However, I would suggest trying the other options first. Suppositories are very effective, usually working within 15 minutes or so, but they are uncomfortable for your child and are not a long term fix.
1. Prunes and Prune Juice: Doctors will usually recommend this first. They claim that it softens things up and gets them flowing again. I have never had much luck with them myself, but old people eat/drink them for the same reason, so there must be some truth to it.
2. Blueberries: I haven't had to use blueberries specifically for this purpose, but my kids love them. I have been told that they work like a charm when it comes to cleaning out those little baby pipes.
3. Yogurt: I tried almost everything you can imagine with my first child and she continued to remain clogged up almost constantly until she was introduced to yogurt. Once she was old enough, I started to feed her yogurt every single day and she has not had a bowel problem since.
4. CARROTS: Yes, those beloved little orange bits of deliciousness that most children will gobble up quite willingly are filled with fiber. Especially if your baby is not old enough to eat yogurt yet, then carrots are a good option. If my little one has gone for several days without stinking up the house, then I will feed her a big helping of carrots. Without fail, she will have a major blowout by the next morning. Sometimes they work a little too well and the mess is uncontainable. But that is information for another post ;)
5. Suppository: If nothing else works, you may be in need of a suppository. However, I would suggest trying the other options first. Suppositories are very effective, usually working within 15 minutes or so, but they are uncomfortable for your child and are not a long term fix.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Taking Naps
I know the word "nap" is a trigger for all kinds of emotions. I think we could spend the rest of our lives talking about nap taking, but I won't bore you to death.
I read an article in a magazine when S was a few months old and it was really interesting.
There are three kinds of nappers:
1. Kids who need a nap at the same time every day, no matter what.
2. Kids who will fall asleep whenever wherever, as long as they're tired.
3. Kids who need a nap every two hours, no questions asked.
As far as I know, there is nothing that specifically determines what kind of napper a child is. They're just born that way.
It sounds so silly; you look at the list and say, "yeah, I know a kid who fits into every category." So why even list them?
When I read the article, it was so helpful to see that first of all, it wasn't strange that my kid's nap wasn't scheduled every day. It just so happens that he is number three, and after two hours, almost on the dot, he is yawning and reaching for his crib. I'm not kidding. His nap time is dependent on what time he wakes up in the morning, not what time I think he ought to take a nap. So it was reassuring to know he wasn't abnormal, just different than his cousins.
It also helped me to know his patterns a little better and I felt more informed and more better able to parent. If I tried to put him down at the same time every day, it wouldn't work! (I tried.) So knowing that he isn't a schedule baby, he's an hourly baby, helped me plan and make sure he got the sleep he needed when he needed it.
One last note. Even though S doesn't have a schedule, he has a routine. And that is really important, especially at night time. He knows that when we do certain things, it's time for bed and for sleeping. Occasionally we have to break the routine if we're on vacation or at a friend's house, but mostly it's helped keep order in our house.
I read an article in a magazine when S was a few months old and it was really interesting.
There are three kinds of nappers:
1. Kids who need a nap at the same time every day, no matter what.
2. Kids who will fall asleep whenever wherever, as long as they're tired.
3. Kids who need a nap every two hours, no questions asked.
As far as I know, there is nothing that specifically determines what kind of napper a child is. They're just born that way.
It sounds so silly; you look at the list and say, "yeah, I know a kid who fits into every category." So why even list them?
When I read the article, it was so helpful to see that first of all, it wasn't strange that my kid's nap wasn't scheduled every day. It just so happens that he is number three, and after two hours, almost on the dot, he is yawning and reaching for his crib. I'm not kidding. His nap time is dependent on what time he wakes up in the morning, not what time I think he ought to take a nap. So it was reassuring to know he wasn't abnormal, just different than his cousins.
It also helped me to know his patterns a little better and I felt more informed and more better able to parent. If I tried to put him down at the same time every day, it wouldn't work! (I tried.) So knowing that he isn't a schedule baby, he's an hourly baby, helped me plan and make sure he got the sleep he needed when he needed it.
One last note. Even though S doesn't have a schedule, he has a routine. And that is really important, especially at night time. He knows that when we do certain things, it's time for bed and for sleeping. Occasionally we have to break the routine if we're on vacation or at a friend's house, but mostly it's helped keep order in our house.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Keeping Secrets
There are several secrets that have been deemed "worthy" to keep from your kids, such as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I grew up having the truth about these "people" kept from me and I was blissfully happy (and ignorant...and naive).
I still remember the day my parents took me into their bedroom to tell me "the truth", though I don't remember how old I was. I wasn't devastated, but I WAS disappointed. It took just a little bit of the magic away from my absolute favorite holiday (Christmas). After they told me, they asked me to keep it a secret from my 2 younger siblings so I didn't ruin their fun. I immediately went out to play with the rest of my family and almost let it slip. What can I say? I was VERY disappointed!
Although I plan to keep my kids as in the dark as I was during my younger years, I've thought about this off and on for awhile now and wonder...How old is too old to believe in these characters?
I have quite awhile before I even have to consider "telling" my oldest the truth about any of this, but since Christmas is just around the corner, which means that we're gearing up to play Santa, I thought I'd ask all you pros out there. When did you tell your kids "the truth"? How did you do it so you could still keep the magical secret alive for your younger kids? And, of course, how old do you think is too old for them to still believe?
I still remember the day my parents took me into their bedroom to tell me "the truth", though I don't remember how old I was. I wasn't devastated, but I WAS disappointed. It took just a little bit of the magic away from my absolute favorite holiday (Christmas). After they told me, they asked me to keep it a secret from my 2 younger siblings so I didn't ruin their fun. I immediately went out to play with the rest of my family and almost let it slip. What can I say? I was VERY disappointed!
Although I plan to keep my kids as in the dark as I was during my younger years, I've thought about this off and on for awhile now and wonder...How old is too old to believe in these characters?
I have quite awhile before I even have to consider "telling" my oldest the truth about any of this, but since Christmas is just around the corner, which means that we're gearing up to play Santa, I thought I'd ask all you pros out there. When did you tell your kids "the truth"? How did you do it so you could still keep the magical secret alive for your younger kids? And, of course, how old do you think is too old for them to still believe?
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Sock Saver
Have you ever noticed that the Sock Monster particularly enjoys baby socks? (Almost as much as he loves his wings)
Do you have a front loader washing machine? Do you hate losing your baby socks only to find them tucked in your favorite pair of jeans or folded into your sheets? Do you wish you could have all your baby's socks in one place so they are easy to match and put away?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, then I have a solution for you.
(Cue the infomercial music; insert the bad acting and overly dramatic reenactments of finding socks in the weirdest places.)
My sister-in-law gave me this advice long before I had a baby, and I think it's been a life saver. Or at least a sock saver. If you go to the laundry section of your local store, you'll find a small mesh bag called a garment bag, or a lingerie bag. If you are LDS and ever attended girls camp, you may have had to use these as a place to hang dry and store your dishes.
Anyway, buy this bag. Take it home and put it in your hamper, tack it on the wall, keep it in the sock drawer. Whatever. When your child takes off dirty socks, throw them in the bag. Or, when you sort laundry, pull the dirty socks aside and put them in the bag before running the washing machine.
Make sure you zip the bag. I say this from experience. This nifty little trick will get your child's socks clean and keep them all in one place for easy matching and clean up. Hurray! Your prayers are answered!
And as a side note, if you have a front loader, the socks can get trapped in the little space between the machine and the rubber insert around the opening. It pulls away and baby socks are the perfect size to squeeze in there and mold. Gross. So it's a really good idea to pull that rubber part back every once in a while and see if anything is hiding down there.
Do you have a front loader washing machine? Do you hate losing your baby socks only to find them tucked in your favorite pair of jeans or folded into your sheets? Do you wish you could have all your baby's socks in one place so they are easy to match and put away?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, then I have a solution for you.
(Cue the infomercial music; insert the bad acting and overly dramatic reenactments of finding socks in the weirdest places.)
My sister-in-law gave me this advice long before I had a baby, and I think it's been a life saver. Or at least a sock saver. If you go to the laundry section of your local store, you'll find a small mesh bag called a garment bag, or a lingerie bag. If you are LDS and ever attended girls camp, you may have had to use these as a place to hang dry and store your dishes.
Anyway, buy this bag. Take it home and put it in your hamper, tack it on the wall, keep it in the sock drawer. Whatever. When your child takes off dirty socks, throw them in the bag. Or, when you sort laundry, pull the dirty socks aside and put them in the bag before running the washing machine.
Make sure you zip the bag. I say this from experience. This nifty little trick will get your child's socks clean and keep them all in one place for easy matching and clean up. Hurray! Your prayers are answered!
And as a side note, if you have a front loader, the socks can get trapped in the little space between the machine and the rubber insert around the opening. It pulls away and baby socks are the perfect size to squeeze in there and mold. Gross. So it's a really good idea to pull that rubber part back every once in a while and see if anything is hiding down there.
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