I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Our contributors are as well, and so are most of our readers. But not all.
So, if you are not of our faith, here's a quick lesson on our Sunday procedure. We attend three hours of church every Sunday. Our first hour is a meeting with the entire congregation. The second hour is broken into Sunday School classes (one for adults, one for teens, and a whole slew of classes for kids depending on their ages). The third hour is broken down again for teens and adults. Women go to one class, men to another. Teenage girls (12 - 18) attend one class, while teenage boys attend another. The children are still in the same class.
A child enters his/her first "class" at the tender age of 18 months. By this point they have social skills (if somewhat lacking), are able to understand and follow basic commands, and they have attention spans. Sort of. And yes, they still learn about Jesus at this age.
Husband and I had years and years to sit in Sacrament meeting (the first meeting with the congregation) and watch all the little families around us, and see how they get their kids to behave. AKA, be quiet. Some brought lots and lots of treats. Some brought toys of all shapes and sizes. Some brought a book or two. Some brought nothing.
It seems to me like the nothing category seems to be the option that keeps a child the most reverent. However! That's not always the case.
With us, S has to have at least a mild distraction. We bring a snack, a few books and usually a stuffed animal. I know that sounds like a lot, but it's really not. We've tried to bring toys, but he gets rowdy and we're distracted. But he's so young that if we had nothing, he'd get bored...and then he'd get naughty and loud and embarrassing. And not to mention we had to have enough to "entertain" him through three hours of classes because he wasn't old enough to go to Nursery (the children's class for babies.)
When I was a kid, my parents didn't bring anything. We just sat in the very front row and had to sit quietly. Occasionally we could have a pen and paper and write notes to each other, but not often.
Some families can bring lots of toys and coloring books and games, and their kids will sit quietly and play. Or they will feel like it's play time at home and they get loud.
Here's my question: What works best for your child or children? Did you have to change things once you had two or more kids?
Just curious.
4 comments:
Our church meets from 11-2, so I have to bring snacks so the kids don't get cranky and misbehave from hunger. We have a stuff-bag for each kid: B has an activity book, a coloring book, and a calculator (plus some pencils and crayons.). C has stickers and paper, and a coloring book and crayons. We've actually started bringing less as the kids get older; if we didn't have our meetings during lunchtime, I wouldn't even bring snacks.
`I bring a few snacks that are quiet (like fruit snacks and gold fish already in a zip lock bag so I'm not opening LOUD bags) a couple books and some crayons. That seems to keep my 2 yr old entertained and quiet enough. Some Sundays we still have to go for a "walk" around the building to get a few extra wiggles out, but she does pretty good!
We recently made it so she has to sit reverently until after the Sacrament, it didn't go so well the first time, but the last few weeks shes gotten much much better!
When we were growing up we could write notes or color, but as we got older more and more stuff got phased out
Less is best. With one kid I found myself packing a whole slew of things to keep his attention (aka lack of), now that we have more, packing a ton is not an option because it leds to fights and problems. Toys cause problems when they get bigger because then they start hitting or driving or playing with others around us. Lastly, I've learned over the years that my kids learn by movement (trust me, it drives me crazy because when I was growing up sitting still and little movement was not an option - I have not heard a sacrament talk in 6 years). I am always suprised with how much they don't learn without moving (their minds wonder onto what they can be doing and end up causing trouble - sorta like feeding a pack of croc's with a stake, they turn on you in the end), and I am always suprised with how much they learn with something in their hand (the facts they regurgitate from moving blows my mind). There are different phases in life. Each kid is different. Your kid(s) will addapt to what you can handle and expect. The only recommendation I have is that if you have to take your child out, don't let that be playtime or they will miss behave everytime just to go out. Do what you can handle and leave out what you can't. Just don't expect a one year old to sit still for ever, it won't happen. :-) Good luck.
We bring snacks and quiet toys for J. He also likes to look at books, so we bring a "flap" book of Bible stories. And we try to make sure we sit in front of another family with boys who behave well. J will turn around and look at them, smile and then try to mimic them, which I love.
Really, it was just trial and error for us to find something that works.
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