It seems a little crazy to me that something so cute and sweet as this:
could make you experience so many conflicting emotions. Joy, love, and awe are accompanied by frustration and sometimes depression.Baby N has been here for a month now. I can't believe that it's already been a month, but on the other hand, I can't believe it's only been a month. It seems like he's been with our family for much, much longer. In that "postpartum" month, I've experienced all of the emotions listed above among several others. I've probably cried more in desperation with Baby N than I did for J when I had him. Why? Because Baby N has colic. 'Nuff said.
Ok, maybe not 'nuff said. He started out like pretty much any other cute little newborn baby. About 2 weeks after his birth, he started getting MUCH more fussy. Kids tend to do that anyway. But this wasn't the "normal" fussy. This didn't end with the soothing mommy or daddy gave. It kept going on and on.
Along with the fussiness, you could hear, actually hear BIG gas bubbles rumbling around in his poor little tummy, but no amount of us trying to burp him helped. Not even Mylecon (or however you spell that) drops worked very well for him. I know there's a direct correlation between the food you eat and how gassy you and your baby are (if you're nursing) and I try to avoid gassy foods at all costs.
As you would rightfully assume, having a very gassy/colicky baby leads to little or no sleep for mommy and daddy. That's what we've had here for about 2 and a half weeks. We've gone to the doctor and she suggested that since I was lactose intolerant during pregnancy (not before...just during) that he might be not only lactose intolerant, but dairy intolerant. She suggested taking dairy out of my diet entirely for 3-5 days, then to slowly introduce it back in. She said to start with yogurt first as it's the mildest form of dairy.
I also heard that there are pediatric chiropractors out there who have colic treatments/adjustments. Who knew?! I did a Google search to find one in my area and took Baby N to see her.
We've been off dairy for a week. I decided to give it 7 days instead of just 3-5. And we've also had 3 visits to the chiropractor. The adjustments have helped a bit. I haven't noticed much difference in fussiness with yogurt being introduced back into my diet.
So now, I have a couple questions for you:
- What are some other things you know of that help with colicky, gassy babies?
- What's the difference between postpartum depression and baby blues? (As you might imagine, with little to no sleep, I'm getting to be a little down. I know there's a direct relation to the amount of sleep I get and how down I feel. I'd still like to know what you think is the difference between the two, if there's any difference at all.)
8 comments:
1. Sometimes a colicky baby is actually a refluxing baby. Does N arch his back and scream/cry when nursing? Spit up a ton? Burp and have wet hiccups a lot? If he does, you may need to get him on some reflux meds - obviously you'll need to talk to your pediatrician about that, and I know some dr's are hesitant about diagnosing reflux, but if N has the symptoms I mentioned, those are CLASSIC signs of reflux. Also, in general w/ the gassy tummy, keep N upright after feeding him, avoid too much tummy time or tight waists on clothes. I also found that rubbing B's tummy when he was a baby, or even his lower back, helped him feel better. Email me if you need any other suggestions.
2. Baby blues- I think that's what you have; tired, crying, frustrated, etc. Postpartum depression includes thoughts of loneliness, despair, apathy, anxiety, unexplained saddness, This is a pretty good, concise article addressing the differences.
http://www.babyzone.com/mom_dad/womens_health/depression_post_partum/baby-blues-ppd/article/baby-blues-postpartum-depression-pg2
Nicole, I really, really, really hope you get things sorted out w/ N and that you find a semblance of normalcy. The newborn period is the hardest, especially now that you have 2 to take care of. Lean on others for support, take advantage of naptime (cleaning and laundry can wait - your sanity is more valuable.) Let us now how you're doing.
Hugs to you. I totally understand where you're coming from! You'll get through it, friend :)
I would suggest reading "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp, M.D. My first baby was colicky and the 5 S's really helped us get some sleep. (Swaddling, side or stomach, Shhh, swinging and sucking) I also had to get over my notion that the baby had to sleep in the crib. My Mom finally just had to tell me to sleep with her so we could both get some rest. I hope you find something that works soon.
I have never dealt with a colicky baby, but in ALL the articles I've ever ready, they say that it is so important for you to ask for help when you need it and also take a breather. If N has been crying for 3 hours straight, call a neighbor and ask her to come over for half an hour while you take a walk. Or take him there so you can go home and take a nap. Mothers are always so willing to help one another, so don't feel bad if you leave and N is still screaming. Someone else can handle him for an hour just fine.
Also, don't feel like a bad parent if you have to put N in his crib, J on the couch watching a show, and go outside. Just sit outside for 10 minutes and take a breather. Honestly, I would sometimes do that with S. A lot of the time I'd take him with me because he loved being outside and it would calm him considerably. During the summer days, our routine was we'd sit on the front step for 10 minutes waiting for Dad to come home from work.
Anyway, that may not be good advice, I don't know. But just do whatever you need to keep yourself sane.
I agree with Kimi. All 3 of my sisters kids were terrible TERRIBLE colicky babies...the type of colicky baby that there were plenty o moments she probably wanted to muzzle them. Anyways, all 3 of them were put on meds. They were reflux babies and put on Losec. I also take it. Ask you doctor about that, because it was like a lightbulb went on when her 3 kids were put on that. Instant relief. I'm just sayin'!
On the postpardum, I had that with my first baby. I was mostly baby blues because I was alone when my mom left after a few days and my husband had to go back to work the day after he was born. It was hard. I cried alot. But as long as you recognize that something is happening, you are fine. Don't brush it off though, the thoughts of loneliness and despair. It's real. But you aren't a bad mom.
Good luck!!!!!!
All three of my babies have been "colicky." But I have a different view on it than some others. My first was an absolute nightmare, to the point where NOTHING anyone suggested worked. I got so much advice from people about the things that worked for their babies, and we even ordered what's called a miracle blanket (it's a special swaddling blanket), but NOTHING worked (mylecon, gripe water, swaddling, sucking, side-lying, etc.). We just had to walk him back and forth at night until he cried himself to sleep.
With my 2nd child, we hoped we'd get better luck, but didn't. However, his symptoms were slightly different and he was actually diagnosed with reflux. He was put on two different meds, and the doses were even upped a couple times, and still...NOTHING worked. With both babies, I had the "baby blues" to a mad extent, what with all the lack of sleep and lack of answers. But then I found my answer. I found out I actually have overactive letdown and an over supply of milk...with makes nursing a nightmare, and a lot of women don't realize they have it, therefore a lot of babies get misdiagnosed with reflux or colick, since the symptoms are practically the same.
I'm not saying you have that issue (I don't even know if you nurse), but it's something to think about it you do. Classic symptoms are the baby constantly pulling off the breast, especially in the beginning, choking, sputtering, gagging, hearing lots of gas bubbles, etc. There is a whole list of problems that go along with this issue and it makes nursing in the first couple of months absolute misery for you and the baby, because the baby is always miserable. If you do nurse, here's a link to the LLL website that I found to be an absolute LIFESAVER for me with my 2nd (and with my 3rd): http://www.lalecheleague.com/nb.html?m=0,0,0
Since I figured out the problem late in with my 2nd, I didn't get it regulated until about 3 to 4 months of age, but I'm hoping with my 3rd (just had him a week and a half ago), I can get it tackled sooner. It's something that I have had to just accept, because it's a problem I will have with every one of my kids. And unfortunately, until it's regulated, there's absolutely nothing to help (as for immediate relief, anyway), so it's something we just have to get through.
And I'm sorry about the baby blues. If anyone understands that, I do. But I doubt it's post pardum depression. What you're feeling is completely, 100% normal, considering what you're going through and the loss of sleep. The newborn stage is hard, and good luck getting through it! I'm going through it myself!
A website that was an absolute LIFESAVER for me is the La Leche League website (if you nurse): http://www.lalecheleague.com/nb.html?m=0,0,0
You can find answers to ANY issues your baby is having. All 3 of my kids have had reflux/colick HORRIBLY bad, so I know how you feel and how everything can feel so dark. :( I hope you get through it soon. This website helped me pinpoint the root to the problem and different ways to cope (for me personally. I kow everyone is different). I found out I hae an oversupply of milk and overactive letdown, which was causing or making the problem worse.
Good luck!
I can't help you with the colic. Somehow the Lord knew I wouldn't do well with that, and so he didn't give me that trial... however, I know much on post partum.. Sorry it will be so long, but I know a lot about postpartum depression because I have lived it. I will have to split it between to comments I am sure...
So here is my two sense - take it with a grain of salt or use what I have learned to help yourself feel human again... My advice, don't take a chance and talk to your doctor today. What is the worst that he/she is going to say, "Sorry I feel that you should take some depression meds to help you through this time." Many postpartum depression meds don't even come out in breast milk so you can continue to breast feed.
The biggest thing to consider is how long have you been down. Baby blues don't last very long. Usually only a week or 2 TOPS, then when mamma get's back into the swing of things in her life and accepts the fact that she is a 24 hour cow with no space of her own and that life has changed for the better not the worse the blues go away.
However, with postpartum depression it doesn't go away after 14 days. There are so many keys to look for that gives you a clue that you have it, but the biggest clue that you probably have it is that you are asking what the signs are of it. Unfortunately, that little nagging voice in the back of your head that has a little question of "do I have it" is screaming at you to go ask for help. Don’t ignore it. The difference between a healthy baby and a dead baby is all in the arms that hold him or her.
Plus, if you have had it before, you are more predisposed to it the second/third/fourth/fifth time and if you don't seek help for it, the more children you have the worse it gets. It doesn't improve with each kid.
The biggest mistake any mother will make is to feel like she is the only one who has this problem and not asking for help. The doctors don't care if you have it, they care that you don't get help for it and then end up hurting your baby.
Like I mentioned, from my experience baby blues and depression is the matter of how long it lasts. Baby blues and post partum depression are the same in symptoms VERY much the same; however, baby blues happens pretty soon after having the baby, postpartum comes at any point in the first year and can last for a long time if help isn't asked for. Some can shake it off, but I couldn't. With my first, I thought that it was just what being a mom was. I struggled with nursing my son and was up endless hours trying to give him the nutrition he needed. Then the bottle came and I felt like a failure as a mom, cuz what mom can't nurse their child? This mom (trust me, I tried everything... these stupid things are pretty much worthless other than for decoration - yeah, I am still bitter sometimes). I felt like it was my fault he was so fussy and so ignored that voice that said talk to a doctor. I was too embarrassed to talk to her. I was so young and naive then.
Then I had my second and I remember holding her and feeling total joy. I'd just hold her and cry with joy and would tell my husband I want 6 of these. Then I remember a click in my head. It was very real. I couldn't explain it, but I went from tears of joy to tears of despair. But again, I was too embarrassed to talk up to the doctor. I thought it would go away. It didn't for 6 months.
Our third child came at a time of total chaos in our home where we moved and all that jazz due to my husband graduating and getting his first job. I didn't have a doctor after we moved to a new state and had to wait for 3 months to get insurance. I was totally depressed from the get go because I wasn't with my husband and had insurance back in the other state. There was just too much going on to deal with in my head. Again, I couldn't nurse my child and I felt once more like a failure. After three months, I thought I had it under control, but then I found myself being more on the couch watching my kids than I was being there for them. I finally went in for an ob check up and talk to the doctor and got on anti-depression to help me with the first year. I felt human again and all was right in the world. I was finally seeing the light and letting my body heal in more ways than one.
With the fourth and last once more we were in a different state, but this time I talk to my doctor about my history and we both agreed that anti-depression from the get go was important since there was a history and with more kids the chance of postpartum psychosis (killing or hurting your baby) increases. Needless to say with the help of a great doctor and modern medicine I have been totally postpartum depression free. I have enjoyed every second with my son. I still cried when I couldn't nurse him, but those were blues. I finally knew what baby blues where, something I thought I knew, but didn't. Baby blues are nothing. They are breeze compared to a category 20 tornado. My kid is healthy, I am healthy and all is good in our home (well on most days... motherhood still brings days that we all just want to retire...)
So long story short, my advice, don't read about what postpartum is or isn't. Look at how long you've felt down or off (not yourself), then if it is more than 2 weeks, call your doctor NOW. Don't be naive or embarrassed. Look at your angel and get help before you go insane. It isn't worth missing out on his first year due to depression. Nothing is worth that.
If I could do it all over again, I'd have asked a long time ago. But when you are young, depression seems like a disease that only mental patients have. It is not. It is something that often times in women develops when hormones are out of control from growing a child. It isn't something to be ashamed of, but something to view as your body adjusting back to how it was before baby was introduced into the picture. I never had depression before my children were born. For the most part I was always a happy person. Sure I had my days, but most of those days fell on those womanly days. Just like womanly days, having a baby does a lot to one’s body, one of which is changing what hormones are produced. If hormones are just a slight bit different than they were, the synapses of the brain won't fire right in the brain and depression occurs. The Lord provided modern med's to help those hormones get back to regulation. Don't wait, just ask. If your doctor doesn't think it is postpartum, then you'll get tips on helping YOU manage this horribly hard time, but if it is ppd then you are one of a million women that put their child's health above their own embarrassment.
As another prodding to ask for help, studies show that if a mother is depressed and doesn't seek help, the baby won't develop as fast because the mother isn't there for that child to teach him or her all that she needs. If a mother suffers the whole family suffers and that isn't worth it. Call your doctor. Listen to that motherly instinct that is yelling at you that something is off and not just because you are so tired...
P.S. Sorry for the life story and the long windedness... :-)
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