All week I missed my babies and just wanted to be home. Because I'm nursing, I brought along my trusty pump and used it every chance I got. I wanted to make sure my milk didn't run out, which it seems to be heading that way anyway.
So, last night when I got home, I took N in to nurse him, cause I was sure ready to relieve some pressure. He wouldn't nurse. He fought it and cried. He would only take a bottle. Part of me doesn't really know how to feel at being trumped by a bottle. This morning, he still prefers the bottle over me.
N is 6 1/2 months old, which is how old J was when my milk ran out and we had to feed him other things instead of my milk. My milk is starting to look blue (a sign that your milk is drying up/going away/biting the dust/etc.) and I've been wondering how long it'll last this time.
Bottom line of my dilemma: Do I stop nursing and feed him the breast milk that I have frozen? Do I try to "force" him to nurse? Am I a bad mom for even considering stopping?
3 comments:
I'll confess that this mamma's body just didn't understand what I wanted it to get: I wanted to nurse. I read books upon books, following their directions to the T, took herbs, prescription drugs and so much more just to try to get my milk in. Nothing worked. My babies would tollerate the nurse first, bottle second ruiteen for a while, but eventually they learned that my body didn't produce enough milk to keep them happy, so they went 100% to the bottle. Every time I was very sad. Every time I felt so mad that my body just didn't get that I wanted to save money and feed my babies. Yet, there was also another HUGE part of me that said, "I AM DONE!! Thank heaven's!! No more nurse/bottle feedings. No more shuffling and trying to keep the baby happy. Now I can enjoy the kid and not stress about leaking or being so full I hurt or feeding at certain hours to keep what was in there alive." I also learned one thing from these exprience, you can't force a baby to nurse from you. As much as you want to, they won't do it, and if you try, you'll get bit HARD!! I personally would pump for as long as you can stand it (if you haven't gotten to the point yet, you'll find eventually pumping takes up so much time and is a big annoyance because you ahve to give a bottle until they are full and then pump until you are empty and by the time you are empty, it's time to feed them again - though your's is 6.5 so it might not be so bad - that eventually you'll be done being hooked up to the milkers), and then just give him that which you have frozen and call it good. It took me a while to really get this, but it is more important how you bond with them, then how they recieve their food. Good luck. Don't feel guilty, just enjoy your son and make sure he is healthy and happy so that you can be too. :-)
First off, I totally understand where you're coming from; I had to wean B at about 8 months, ready or not. Don't beat yourself up about it; if you want to still provide N w/ breastmilk, and it's not something you mind doing, keep pumping and storing the breastmilk. I was told by a nurse once: Right now, it seems like what you feed and how you feed your baby is the biggest deal in the whole world. But remember, by the end of the year, they'll be eating actual food.
So, I say, do what you feel you should. You're a great mommy, and your kiddos know you love them.
Good luck!
Coming from a Non-breast-feeder...I say, feed him what you have frozen, and be happy that you can do stuff while the baby holds the bottle (which will be soon!) on the floor with a blanket propped under his chin. I tried the breast-feeding, but I'm just not built to breastfeed. But if your baby is crying and NOT wanting to breastfeed, don't take it personally. I was upset when I couldn't breastfeed, but you do what you gotta do!
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