Not Just Diaper Rash

In February of this year, my little boy, B (then 2 1/2 years old) got sick.  It resulted in him getting constipated, which caused him to start holding in his bowel movements.

In June, he was still holding in his bowel movements.  It had caused his poop to become extremely hard, and B would scream, cry, and thrash when he felt the urge to poop.  This had been going on for four months, and no amount of prune juice or other home remedies for constipation were working.  We brought it up with our son's pediatric gastroenterologist.  She prescribed a "clean-out" for our little boy, which consisted of one pedialax tablet followed by five doses of miralax finished off with another pedialax tablet.  Needless to say, B was "cleaned out".  For awhile, anyway.  We were told that "curing" constipation of this degree could take up to 1 year to alleviate, sometimes even longer (yay?).  We needed to get to the point where B didn't hold in his poops.

Let me include that during this time, B would have bouts of a TERRIBLE diaper rash - in a matter of one day, he would be sore, cracked, and bleeding on his bottom.  I would treat it with a medication I had been given for a similar diaper rash when B was a baby - it's called mupirocin (bactroban).  It would quickly clear up the diaper rash (in about one or two days.)

Bring us to now, November.  We are STILL dealing with this constipation, even though B is taking one capful of Miralax daily.  B has had two more clean-outs.  He is still holding in his bowel movements, and when cases are horrible, he screams and cries (and breaks my heart.)  And he is still getting those awful diaper rashes.

On Friday of last week, we took B in for his 3 year well-child checkup.  I brought up my frustrations about B's lack of pooping (and therefore lack of being potty trained) to the pediatrician.  At first, he just insisted that I continue  to give B miralax; "you have to keep the poop soft!"  I was quite persistent, informing the doctor that even on Miralax, and having soft - even RUNNY - poops, B complained/screamed/yelled of stomach pain and that his bum hurt. That caught the doctor's attention, and he asked to see B's bottom.  Upon looking at it, he said, "just a minute", and returned to the exam room with a swab.  About 5 minutes later, a nurse pops her head in the room to tell us that the swab came back positive.

My poor little guy has strep.

In his tummy, and on his bum.

Yep. Strep.  Perianal Streptococcal Dermatitis, to be exact.  The main symptom of this?  A bright-red, itchy, painful, bleeding rash.

Yeah.  Not just a "diaper rash".

When the doctor mentioned the diagnoses, I remembered that when B was about 9 months old, he had the same thing.  And I've been fighting it off now for about the last year.

It breaks my heart that my little boy has had STREP in his STOMACH for almost a year.  No wonder he won't poop!  No wonder he doesn't eat!  No wonder he complains of stomach pain!  (Our doctor told me, when I asked if it could cause stomach pain, that it most likely feels like what a throat feels like with strep.  So sad!)

Apparently this is a pretty common illness, and more commonly misdiagnosed.

After just one day on antibiotics and topical ointment, B isn't screaming.  Or crying.  Or holding in his poop.  And he's eating.  And not complaining of an owie bum or tummy.

I hope none of you have to experience this, but I hope if anything similar happens with your child, you'll know to ask your doctor.

I knew there was more to my boy's constipation than just constipation.  I'm grateful I listened to myself, and that I was persistent with the doctor - who listened to me.

Potty Training

This can be one of the most rewarding and exciting things you'll do with your child...at least up until this point in life. :) It can also be one of the most frustrating and disgusting jobs you'll ever do.

We've been potty training J for awhile now. We started in late September in the hopes that we'd have things mostly mastered by Christmas time which is when N will make his appearance. (There's just something about having only 1 child in diapers that is very appealing to me.)

Like every child that goes through this process, J has had his very good days and his very bad days. Today, for instance, he woke up dry. He said he didn't need to potty yet, and wanted to eat first. Lately he's been pretty in tune with those things, so I sat him down and let him eat his breakfast. He finished and got down to play. I had left him in his night time diaper just to make sure I wouldn't be cleaning up a morning woopsie.

As he was playing, he jumped right up and yelled, "Mommy! Potty toilet!!!" and then ran for all he was worth into the bathroom. My mommy heart swelled with pride. :) I was so happy that he's finally getting it!

He went back to playing and after a little while, he repeated the process, except this time his words were slightly different. Instead of a potty run, we were making a poop run. YAY again! But no matter how hard he'd try, he just couldn't (or wouldn't) make it come out.

Again, that was ok. At least he's trying to listen to his body now. We went through this at least 5 times in about 10 minutes, each time with no results. Then, his warning got a little more urgent and finally we had success. He told me he didn't want to wear a diaper, but he wanted to wear big boy underwear. Fine. (Keep in mind we're recovering from a GI virus.)

He went back to playing and then almost cried when he said, "Poop toilet!" as he had stuff running down his legs. I probably could have (and should have) been smarter about that, but I also wanted to encourage him to feel like he's doing something awesome and important. I want him to feel like he IS a big boy.

I know a family (and I'm not going to name any names) that went through the potty training of their 2nd boy as if it were boot camp. They'd make their little one sit on the toilet until he went...come crying or constipation...or both. Granted, he did have some major issues with constipation and it was hard to get him to go, but one parent would even resort to yelling to try to entice the poor little guy to go. It didn't help much as you might imagine.

Because of having seen that, and because my little guy has such a sensitive spirit, I knew I couldn't ever go about things that way for our family. What we've chosen to do instead is more like bribery. :) I'm not ashamed to admit it or even do it that way.

Every time J goes potty, he gets a piece of candy (Halloween candy worked wonders in this department as we would hardly give him any candy unless he went potty). Going poop was a totally different ball game. Candy didn't really work for him in that department. But giving him really cheap toy cars did/does. Every time he goes poop, he gets a new car. He LOVES his cars and lately has found a new way to get more of them.

We started out with setting the timer for 40 minutes or so and when the timer would go off, we'd go sit on the potty. It got to be kind of humorous for awhile because any time any dinger or buzzer would go off, J would jump up and yell, "Potty!" and run to the bathroom. Now he's starting to tell us when he has to go.

This is a way that has worked for us. It might not work for every parent or child and that's ok. There are several ways to go about potty training. It was suggested to us to let J wear the underwear underneath his diaper so he felt the wet a little more. That didn't work, but did make for a lot more laundry.

Though I'm no expert in this area by any means, my suggestion is to find a way that works best for your family (and especially for your child) and go with that. Be consistent and understanding. It is training after all and will take some time. :)

I'm looking forward to the time when we're only in diapers at night. And then to the time when we're completely out of diapers. That will be nice. :) And I'm sure those times are right around the corner.

When my baby is sick...

Yay, the holidays are here. Snow is on it's way. Soon we'll all be joining hands around a giant Christmas tree singing,

Fah who For-aze
Dah who dor-aze
Welcome Christmas
Come this way!

Oh, wait, I guess that's the Who's in Whoville. Anyway.

Let's face it folks, it's flu season. And cold season. And pneumonia season. And RSV season. And G.I. virus season. And (insert illness here) season. So many of my friends, family, and fellow mothers are home sick with their little ones.

One of our mommies asked for advice on what we like to do when our babies are sick, but I think so many of us were home sick with our babies that we didn't have time to respond.

I've been thinking about it, and here are just a few areas I have some ideas. More are appreciated.

COUGH/COLD

When I had my first child (and by "had" I mean adopted), I was pretty sure I had this mothering thing down. I knew why my baby was crying and how to fix it. I knew much to feed him. I knew that he needed his nose suctioned every morning and his fingernails clipped every three days. I knew that he sneezed a lot in the sunlight, and that he didn't love his swing. Yet. I knew how many times he pooped a day and how many ounces of formula he guzzled.

But when he got a cough at 4 months old, I felt like I needed to call this kid's mommy and have her pick him up. And then I remembered, "Oh wait. I am the mommy." I didn't really know what to do. My son didn't have a fever, but he had terrible green mucus and a cough that didn't sound wet, just uncomfortable.

I didn't want to call the doctor's office every ten minutes, so I watched S for a day and made sure I had all his symptoms. Then I called. I talked to the nurse and she told me a few good tips.

With babies that young, they can't have medicine. She told me to ease his discomfort and coughing, I could give him an ounce for every month old he was of warm apple juice. So, since he was 4 months old, he could have up to 4 oz of warm apple juice per day. (I actually watered it down, but I think it worked just the same.)

Also, I got baby Vick's vapor rub and rubbed it on his chest and feet. Yes, the soles of his feet. You may think it's silly, but it really does work. And besides, it's homeopathic, so why not give it a try? It also eases their discomfort from coughing and helps them sleep better. I loved that stuff and grew to associate it's smell with the smell of my baby. It says it's safe for babies 6 months and older, but the doc said I could use it on S.

You can use a humidifier to help baby breath at night. Get friendly with your child's nasal aspirator and keep one in every room of your house. If your child is older, sometimes propping them up helps them sleep better at night. Our son was always propped because the nurses at the hospital told us it would help with his acid reflux. However, you still have to be very careful with newborns and extra blankets or pillows. SIDS is always a risk.

Also, there is this cool thing called saline mist that you can spray into your baby's nose. It helps with breathing, and I found it also loosened up the dry gunk and made it easier for me to suction out.

RSV

A few months later, my son's cold returned, but this time it was different. His eyes were watery, as seen in the picture below.

His nose was constantly running, and his cough was wet. He was tired all the time and not really playful. Still happy, just lethargic. I called my sister-in-law that day to ask her about her son who was a year old and had just been diagnosed with RSV.

"I think that's what S has," I told her. The next day I took my son in to the doctor. He checked him out, listened to his lungs and his cough. Sure enough, my little guy had RSV. My sister-in-law said she had never seen a mother so in tune to her baby. That made me feel pretty good, but I told her it wasn't because I'm special, it was because I'd kept S indoors for the first 3 months of his life trying to avoid getting RSV.

There was a few things more we could do for him than with a common cold. We bought a nebulizer and gave him prescription breathing treatments every few hours.

It wasn't exactly fun or comfortable, but we did what we had to. We also made sure my husband and I did not spread the virus. S stayed home so as not to share the wealth. We washed our hands and clothes regularly, and we made sure S was as comfortable and happy as possible.

Why am I going through the trouble of this rather lengthy and possibly not all that interesting post?

Because. The only reason I knew to look for the symptoms of RSV were because someone had told me about them. RSV itself is not fatal, but it can weaken the immune system, making way for things like pneumonia, which can be fatal. So just be careful.

I also wish that I had been given some ideas on what to do when my baby is really sick. Now you know for a cough you can use apple juice and Vick's to the soles. Also, make sure your baby/child is hydrated. They may not feel like eating, but they've got to drink.

STOMACH FLU/ILLNESS

Our mommy Nicole just posted on her personal blog that her son J is having GI problems. He's been puking and...other fun activities, so his pediatrician recommended he eat bananas and yogurt. I don't know anything about this topic, so ideas are welcome.

RASH

A few weeks ago my son got a mystery rash. It was so strange and bizarre and I hated it. I was frightened. I called my mother, who didn't answer. I called my neighbor who is an ER nurse, and she wasn't home. I called my brother-in-law who is a Pharmacist. He asked me all the questions I expected. Did he have a fever? Was he introduced to any new foods? Did we recently change his laundry detergent? Was he itchy and scratching? Did he have any other symptoms?

The answer to all of these questions was no. My brother-in-law's advice to me was not to treat the symptom if it wasn't there. Benedryl would have been my first go-to drug, but I didn't have any. However, S wasn't itchy. He wasn't scratching. He wasn't miserable. The only reason I even knew he had a rash was because I happened to see it while changing his diaper.

So I watched him like a hawk, afraid that if I even picked him up I might irritate his rash. After a day, it went away. I never used Benedryl. Would S have died if I did? No. But I knew that it would have been for my own peace of mind instead of the well being of my child.

That being said, if I had said yes to any of those questions, I may have, honestly, taken S right to the doctor or the ER. I'm not even kidding. Especially with the food allergy. If he had been cranky or scratching, I would have pumped him so full of Benedryl that rash wouldn't have known what was coming!

Bottom line: rashes are scary. Don't freak out. Ask yourself a bunch of questions, watch your baby and his/her behavior, and then react.

You are the mom. You know best.

TEETHING

My son is now old enough to be getting some molars. Yippee. We took him to the dentist two weeks ago, and he actually recommended using a frozen Gogurt to help with teething pains. It's cold, it's edible. It's small enough for him to fit in the back of his mouth.

It was brilliant. I tried it on S and it was great. Messy, but great.

When it comes to cutting teeth, I don't skimp on the pain meds if my child is in need. If he's awake and happy and playing, I don't bother because he's plenty distracted. But when he starts to tug on his ears and hit his face or head, I break out the Tylenol. Or if he's going to bed. I don't want him sleeping terribly because he's in pain all night.
A bib also helps with the little ones. That way their shirts aren't covered in drool. :)

I noticed that my son's chin gets red and irritated when he is teething because the drool drips down his chin and just kind of hangs out there. I try to keep a rag around to dab off the drool and keep his chin from chapping.

FEVER

This section will be relatively blank. You see, my son does not get a fever. Hardly ever. Even when he had RSV he had a very low grade fever. Does that mean he doesn't get sick? No. In fact, he just expresses it in different ways. For example. About a week before the rash incident, all of a sudden my baby had really red cheeks. They stayed red for hours. He seemed a little down, a little more tired. No cough,  not really a runny nose. But I knew that this was his body's way of telling me he was sick. I gave him Tylenol, lots of liquids, lots of rest, etc. After a few hours he felt better.

What I know of fevers is that it's usually not the fever that is the problem (unless it's really high, and then you've got a serious problem!). The fever is just a symptom of something else going on. It could be a simple bug going around or even teething. Or it could be something bigger. You know your child, so don't be afraid to call your pediatrician and tell him your child's symptoms if you are really concerned.

--

So, as you can see, in my limited experience, I have found a lot of things help for me. I'll ask you to share what helps you take care of your little guy or girl when they are under the weather, and if you aren't too busy mopping up puke or dosing out cough medicine, I'd love to hear.

One last thing. Mother's instinct is sometimes confused with panicking, but it's like I said before. YOU know your child, and if the doctor/nurse/etc won't listen to you, and you are sure there is something very wrong with your baby, you leave and find a doctor who is willing to listen to you and not brush aside your God given talent of mothering.

Sick with the Flu

Being sick is never fun. Having sick kids is almost worse because not only does it tug at your heart strings, but if they're young, there's not much you can give them (medicine wise) to comfort them and help with their symptoms.

This last weekend, we had a little boy who was sick with the flu. He threw up BIG time three times during the day. Each one was on me. He'd come up and want to be held and then just toss his cookies all over the place. That night he kept throwing up every few hours, but it would mostly be Sprite and crackers that we had given him. I just felt so helpless, but I knew it was only the flu and that it wasn't really terribly bad. It just seemed worse because he was barfing on me.

What are some things that you moms out there do for your kids when they're not feeling their best?

Feeling Overlooked

My husband and I are both middle children. We've both had to do our fair share of vying for parental (and sometimes sibling) attention. There have been times when we've felt a little overlooked, which can sometimes be the case in a family with so many children.

BUT, vying for attention is not something I want my kids to ever feel like they have to do. And, I don't ever want them to feel neglected or unloved or like we're playing favorites.

How do you moms of multiple children ensure that all of your children feel loved and like you're paying attention to them? I've been wondering about this a lot lately, because it will soon (within the next month and a half) be more of a worry for me. I'm due to have our second son in about 49-ish days. When our little guy shows up, I want our older son to still feel as loved as he has been. I don't want him to feel excluded, overlooked or ignored.

So, if you would, please share things that you have done that help with this situation.

Hug your babies

This morning my son woke up extra early. I gave him a bottle and some toys and left him in the crib so that I could shower. After I got out of the shower, he started to scream.

I took him out of the crib, sang to him and changed his diaper, put on fresh clothes and tried to read him a book. All the while he kicked and thrashed. He screamed at me and banged his head against the floor. (He's into doing that now and I hate it.) When I held him, he fought me. When I put him down, he crawled into my lap and laid there. If I sang "Popcorn Popping," he laughed. When I tried to hand him something we could play with, he screamed and threw it. This all happened in his room.

I figured maybe he wanted to play with his other toys, so I opened the door and tried to get him to walk out to the living room. He's been carried his whole life and has grown somewhat accustomed to it. When I try to get him to walk first thing in the morning or right after a nap, he screams and goes limp so that I'm basically carrying him by the arms.

By this point, my fuse had been lit.

"Fine," I told him, leaving him in a bawling heap in the hall. "You may sit there and throw a fit. When you are finished, come find mommy and we'll play."

I went and started scrubbing dishes. My boy came into the kitchen and started pushing me away from the sink and the counter. He stuck himself between me and the cupboard and pushed. I got the point and dried my hands. I picked him up and carried him to the living room where I tried to sit down and read books.

He screamed.

And so it went for another hour. He didn't want left alone. He didn't want held. He didn't want me to put him down. He didn't want food or his water.  He would laugh and be cute, but then if he thought I was looking at him funny or maybe not looking at him enough, he'd scream and kick and thrash.

I tried to put him down for a nap after he'd been up for 2 hours, but he screamed for 20 minutes and cried himself into hysterics. I picked him up and we started the whole thing all over again.

I told my husband I think someone took our baby in the night and left us with this screaming monster.

He then told me the tragedy of a little girl, three years old, who was run over by a truck yesterday afternoon. She died early this morning.

My baby's behavior did not change, but mine did. I was more patient with him. I held him and let him cry for a while until finally he was just flopped across my legs letting me scratch his back. I gave him Tylenol (he's cutting molars) and put him down for a nap again. Even though he's asleep, I'm having a hard time not going in there and pulling him out of his crib so I can snuggle him close. Because somewhere there is a mother who won't get that chance.

I'm sorry I took my baby for granted this morning. And my heart aches for your loss. I've shed a few tears for you, and I've said some prayers for you. I hope that you'll find peace. Soon.

Candy, Candy, Candy

This time of year always comes with a double edge sword.....copious amount of candy. Good because well....its good! and bad because of stomach aches, cavities and the not so much fun part of telling children they can't eat five pounds of candy at once!

There are a few ways to deal with all this yumminess.

One: sneak into the kids buckets nightly and start eating some of it down. They probably won't notice its going down. But then we end up with the extra work outs and the tummy aches. ;)

Two: put the candy away. Out of sight out of mind. When they ask for some of that goodness, get it out and have a few pieces. Eventually something new and fabulous will come along that will let them forget....like Christmas.

Third: Let the children pick about a week to two weeks worth of candy out (how many pieces a day/week you think is a good amount) and then tell the children to put their candy buckets outside their door. That night he tooth fairy will come and exchange the candy for an awesome prize (prizes can range from toys, to color books... even money to buy their own fun prize). The kids get to keep some candy and they get a cool new toy. Best of both worlds and you my friends get to do with that candy as you please.

We do the last one and surprisingly the kids are excited about getting to have both the candy and a toy. Plus we explain to them they are keeping their bodies and teeth healthy! It might not work well for the older children but it will work for a bit for the younger ones. :)

Night Terrors

Well, this is the post you've been waiting for. Okay, so only Deborah has been waiting for it because she knew about it. Anywho...

My son has never been a good sleeper. That's just a fact. But back in July when he started waking up EVERY night for weeks screaming and could not be comforted, I thought it was strange.

Here are the things that tipped me off that something was wrong:

1) He would wake up crying about the same time every night.

2) When we'd pick him up to comfort him, he would thrash, hit us, swat his ears, and just cry.

3) It would normally take us a couple of hours to get him calmed down and back to sleep.

One night it was so bad that I got a total of 4 hours of sleep (and I'd been dealing with lack of sleep already from previous nights). And then I still had to be up with him and parent the rest of the day. Yeah, I think that's the day I bawled my head off and called my sister to tell her that if motherhood was a job, I would quit. It was that bad.

After two weeks of this, I thought, "He has to be sick or something. This is NOT normal, even for him." I was so sure he had an ear infection or something because he got 3 of them last winter and he was swatting his ears when he'd wake up in the night.

I took him to the doctor, hoping for the first time in Kaleb's life that he was sick so they could just give me medicine and make it all go away. After two weeks of little sleep and a very cranky son, I was desperate.

The doctor looked at him and then said, "Well, he looks perfectly healthy to me. The only thing I can think of is that he's having night terrors. And unfortunately, there's nothing you can really do for that except make sure he has a regular bedtime and gets as much sleep as possible. They usually grow out of it. But if he hasn't stopped having them in 3 weeks, give me a call and maybe we'll do some sleep tests on him."

"THREE WEEKS?!?!?! I can't handle this for three more weeks!" Is what I wanted to say. But instead I thanked him and left.

Here's the problem: I had always thought that night terrors were just really bad nightmares. And if you were thinking the same thing, don't feel bad. Unless you've had a child or friend or someone you know go through it, you wouldn't know anything different. It's not as if they give you a handout on "Night Terrors" at the pediatrician's office to go along with the bazillion shot handouts they give you every time.

So when I got home, I did a little research on night terrors and discovered that they are NOT just bad nightmares. Basically, in layman terms, they could be described as sleep-nightmares, relating to sleep-walking or sleep-talking. When a person has a night terror, they are still asleep, even if they're screaming, thrashing, or have their eyes open. Another difference is that nightmares happen in REM sleep, night terrors happen in non-REM sleep. And, children or people who are old enough to tell you, won't remember a thing the next morning.

I found out that the main causes of night terrors is either stress or lack of sleep. With Kaleb, I knew it was a lack of sleep because he'd been staying up later and still waking up at the same time. I realized that it was a vicious cycle with him. He would be tired which would cause him to have a night terror which would make it so we were up with him for hours which would lead to more lack of sleep which would lead to a night terror the next night.

The turning point for me was when I read this from about.com:

"Typical night terrors last about 5 to 30 minutes and afterwards, children usually return to a regular sleep. If you are able to wake your child up during a night terror, he is likely to become scared and agitated, mostly because of your own reaction to the night terror, especially if you were shaking or yelling at him to wake up. Instead of trying to wake up a child having a night terror, it is usually better to just make sure he is safe, comfort him if you can, and help him return to sleep once it is over."

I also read something from a doctor online that basically said, "It can make it worse if you touch them. It's okay to let them cry. It might take even up to 45 minutes, but they will stop and go back to sleep."

That was a relief. Once I felt like I had "permission" to let him cry, it got so much better. When he would wake up crying, I would turn off the monitor, go lay out on the couch where I could hear him, doze on and off while he cried, and he would stop crying within a half hour or so. Ryan and I also made sure we were putting him to bed at a good bedtime every night. Within a week, he stopped having them.

After going through this with Kaleb, I feel that EVERYONE needs to know what night terrors are and how to cope with them. Every kid is different when they have them too. It can vary in symptoms, age, and "cures." But it's important that every mom knows exactly what they are and that they are not just bad nightmares.

It was a very long 3 weeks for my hubby and I, but we made it through and hope to never have to go back to that. And I hope none of you go through it either because it can be terrifying. But if you do or someone you know does, now hopefully you can learn from our experience!